¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think we¡¯d better not borrow money

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-29 925

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had borrowed money a long time ago. When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elliot! 

Thank you again for answering today's homework. I also didn't want to owe anybody money, and I didn't understand people who borrow money. Recently though, because of some unexpected financial needs, I had to borrow some money from my friend. I feel really bad and stressed about it because I always want to pay them back as soon as possible. It also feels terrible when most of the salary goes into paying debts.

Today's sentences were really good, just please avoid using So, But, Because, and And at the beginning of sentences. Usually, you can use these to connect two clauses to make a complex sentence. Other than that, very good! I hope you are proud of yourself :)

-Teacher Violet

I had borrowed money a long time ago. 
>> CORRECT!

When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. 
>> When I bought my house, I borrowed money from my parents and from a bank. 

When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. 
>> When we need money in our lives, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have some in our account so we usually borrow money from family or collegues in a short time. 

And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. 
>> Then I pay the money back within the same day or the next day.

I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. 
>> CORRECT!

I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I have prepared some money in case I suddenly need it.

Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 
>>  Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone so we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 

I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.
>>  I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money but It¡¯s important that we should prepare for that time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118197 Children crying ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 3
118196 party ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 221
118195 The strangest food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118194 Was there a situation when you felt tongue-tied? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 271
118193 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 203
118192 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1
118191 Writing Task(Apr 12th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 168
118190 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 3
118189 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 173
118188 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 142
118187 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118186 The best activity ot during camping. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 197
118185 What city do you think is the best in South Korea? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 478
118184 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 183
118183 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 160
118182 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118181 How do you control or take away your unwanted loneliness? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118180 What is one good program of your company that makes its... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118179 Seoul is representative city of South Korea ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 210
118178 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04