무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Would the world be a better place if everyone was a vegetarian? Explain your answer.

작성자: 김*인
2022-03-28 281

회원님의 영작문

Modern people try to change their eating habitat for health, and some argue people need to be vegetarians. This is because meat consumption increases serious pollution. However, I don't agree that people should limit their meat or poultry intake. It can cause more serious environmental and health problems. First of all, global pollution and housing problem will be created by growing plants. People should use the amount of water for nurturing vegetation, and they cannot get enough water only from rain. Farmlands should use their own greenhouses due to the natural weather but this circumstance makes to use excessive water usage and gas emission. In addition, people will use a lot of spaces for people's food instead of housing. For this reason, many people will not find their safe house. To sum up, environmental pollution and less area to the built dwelling will happen in the future due to being vegetarian. In my opinion, excessive consumption is not good either meat or vegetable,

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Jin!
A proper diet is more beneficial than avoiding a lot of nutritional value from various meals we could consume.  It absolutely healthy to eat vegetables, but with ample amounts of food in the food pyramid. ^^


~T. Maine

Modern people try to change their eating habitat for health, and some argue people need to be vegetarians.
>>Modern people try to change their eating habits for health and some argue that people need to be vegetarians.
This is because meat consumption increases serious pollution.
>>Correct.
However, I don't agree that people should limit their meat or poultry intake.
>>Correct.
It can cause more serious environmental and health problems.
>>Correct.
First of all, global pollution and housing problem will be created by growing plants.
>>First of all, global pollution and housing problems are the worries in growing plants.
People should use the amount of water for nurturing vegetation, and they cannot get enough water only from rain.
>>People should use enough amount of water for nurturing vegetation, but cannot happen because of insufficient water from nature through rain.
Farmlands should use their own greenhouses due to the natural weather but this circumstance makes to use excessive water usage and gas emission.
>>Farmlands should use their own greenhouses due to the natural weather, but this circumstance makes them use excessive water and gas emission.
In addition, people will use a lot of spaces for people's food instead of housing.
>>In addition, people will use a lot of space for people's food instead of housing.
For this reason, many people will not find their safe house.
>>Correct.
To sum up, environmental pollution and less area to the built dwelling will happen in the future due to being vegetarian.
>>Correct.
In my opinion, excessive consumption is not good either meat or vegetable,
>>In my opinion, excessive consumption is not good either meat or vegetable.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
117497 What makes you happy? 한*형 완료 2022-03-18 399
117496 Homework 이*빈 완료 2022-03-18 765
117495 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. 신*교 완료 2022-03-18 783
117494 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... 박*주 완료 2022-03-18 562
117493 Homework 정*혁 완료 2022-03-18 861
117492 2022.3.16 전* 완료 2022-03-18 620
117491 202.3.15 전* 완료 2022-03-18 543
117490 Is there anything you dislike about weekends? 서*영 완료 2022-03-18 1
117489 Aside from yourself, do you also worry about the health of those... 오*빈 완료 2022-03-18 1106
117488 How do you usually cope with your stress? 오*빈 완료 2022-03-18 1052
117487 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... 황*별 완료 2022-03-18 729
117486 What are the ways to slow down aging? 장*수 완료 2022-03-18 1098
117485 What are some of the products Bloomberg focuses on? 문*현 완료 2022-03-18 256
117484 Do you ever feel that you waste your free time? How? 윤*경 완료 2022-03-18 642
117483 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... 신*섭 완료 2022-03-18 777
117482 Do you have a different attitude to English homework now than... 김*인 완료 2022-03-17 546
117481 What is the most difficult part of learning a language? 김*규 완료 2022-03-17 2
117480 3/17 homework 이*유 완료 2022-03-17 462
117479 Homework 권*미 완료 2022-03-17 1
117478 Homework 권*미 완료 2022-03-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]