¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-03-25 632

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't want to erase my memories.
Even tough there are some bad memories, and sad memories, the memories are memories.
We may think that bad memories are just useless things, but we can learn many things from bad memories.
We can feel more emotions and even we can empathize other people well.
Because of these reasons, I think all of my memories are meaningful memories to me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

There are usually reasons behind why certain things happen in our life. There is always a purpose for it.  We just need to realize it. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't want to erase my memories.
>> CORRECT

Even tough there are some bad memories, and sad memories, the memories are memories.
>> Even though some of them are bad or sad, the memories are still memories.

We may think that bad memories are just useless things, but we can learn many things from bad memories.
>> We may think that bad memories are useless , but we can learn many things from them. 

We can feel more emotions and even we can empathize other people well.
>> We can feel more emotions and even we can feel empathy towards other people as well. 

Because of these reasons, I think all of my memories are meaningful memories to me.
>> Because of these reasons, I think all of my memories are meaningful to me.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118191 Writing Task(Apr 12th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 181
118190 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 3
118189 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 185
118188 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 149
118187 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118186 The best activity ot during camping. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 208
118185 What city do you think is the best in South Korea? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 492
118184 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 196
118183 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 166
118182 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118181 How do you control or take away your unwanted loneliness? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118180 What is one good program of your company that makes its... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118179 Seoul is representative city of South Korea ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 222
118178 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1
118177 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118176 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 207
118175 What\'s the weirdest diet you have heard about? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 200
118174 Have you eaten any strange foods? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118173 What makes me exhausted ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 444
118172 What are the possible benefits of working on weekends? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 209

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04