¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Good evening

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2022-03-24 790

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ms. Kyu!

Walking is a very healthy and relaxing way of exercise. If you are with someone, you do not even feel tired. So, walk safely in the park whenever you can in Canada. 

As you can see from your sentences below, I have underlined the suggestions I made. Thus, go over them and make sure to use them well always.

Catch you in class soon!

-T. Donna =)

Perhaps I will go for walk around the park everyday with my children. 
>>  Perhaps I will go for a walk around the park everyday with my children. 

My house is near the many parks and I like go for walk .
>> My house is near many parks and I like to go for a walk .
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117710 If there is a place in America that you wanted to live in, where... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117709 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 734
117708 Which is worse, obesity or anorexia? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 566
117707 HOMEWORK ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 2
117706 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 402
117705 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 496
117704 Where is it best to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 226
117703 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 552
117702 3/24 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 527
117701 Are you someone who likes change? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 766
117700 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 3
117699 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 289
117698 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 6
117697 Why do you think conversations are important? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 764
117696 How many hours of sleep do you need and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117695 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 370
117694 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 2
117693 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 603
117692 What takes up most of your time? Do you think you manage your... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 0
117691 If you could have any food right now, what would it be? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 539

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04