¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Mar 22th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-03-23 385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the advantages or disadvantages of modern medicine?
One advantage is that we can get over easily in a short period with modern medicine. There¡¯re millions of drugs we can buy at a drugstore or even at a convenience store.
However, the disadvantage comes from the same fact that we can buy nearly any medicine within 10 minutes, no matter where we are. Human body needs a kind of symptoms, like high fever, cough, soar throat, ant etc as a way of self cure and a certain level of immunity. But buying and taking the medicine easily, we don¡¯t allow our bodies to have those symptoms that are necessary to strength self-defense and immune system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, U Seung! 

You are right! Having the modern medicine makes it easier for us to access it, especially during the emergencies. We should also not be too dependent on medicines because it can weaken our body at the same time.

Thank you for sharing!

~T. Roanne ^_^
=========================================
One advantage is that we can get over easily in a short period with modern medicine. 
>> Correct! 
There¡¯re millions of drugs we can buy at a drugstore or even at a convenience store.
>> Correct! 
However, the disadvantage comes from the same fact that we can buy nearly any medicine within 10 minutes, no matter where we are. 
>> Correct! 
Human body needs a kind of symptoms, like high fever, cough, soar throat, ant etc as a way of self cure and a certain level of immunity. 
>> The human body needs a kind of symptoms, like high fever, cough, sore throat, ant etc. as a way of self cure and a certain level of immunity. 
But buying and taking the medicine easily, we don¡¯t allow our bodies to have those symptoms that are necessary to strength self-defense and immune system.
>> But buying and taking the medicine easily, we don¡¯t allow our bodies to have those symptoms that are necessary to strengthen self-defense and immune system
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117971 Do you think people feel different when they wear different... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 409
117970 Mentally distressed ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 4
117969 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 465
117968 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? Why... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 465
117967 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 183
117966 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 0
117965 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 211
117964 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 164
117963 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 0
117962 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 187
117961 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 162
117960 Hello kate, ÀÌ*µ¿ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 2
117959 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 1
117958 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 3
117957 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 1
117956 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 500
117955 violence ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 420
117954 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 207
117953 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 551
117952 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 279

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04