¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it is important for men to join the military service in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-03-21 1363

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I do. It is very important because that is the law. So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it. I don't like demanding men to join the military. However, the war didn't end. We don't know when the war end and begin again. So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. I'm very thankful to them. I hope that they can be rewarded.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly! 

Yes, people feel uneasy about war. The country would benefit from this a lot but sometimes it also has some disadvantages. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Yes, I do. 
>> CORRECT

It is very important because that is the law. 
>> CORRECT

So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it. 
>>So if someone breaks the rule, he must take responsibilities for his actions. 

I don't like demanding men to join the military. 
>> CORRECT

However, the war didn't end. 
>> However, the war hasn't ended yet. 

We don't know when the war end and begin again. 
>> We don't know when the war will begin and end again. 

So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. 
>> Koreans feel anxious about it. Thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. 

I'm very thankful to them. 
>> CORRECT

I hope that they can be rewarded.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119196 How do you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 335
119195 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 229
119194 What can you say about students hiring someone to do their... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 421
119193 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 0
119192 About money ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 11
119191 If you could have three wishes that would come true, what would... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 434
119190 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 107
119189 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 308
119188 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119187 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119186 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119185 Introducing my self Áö*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119184 I also passionately play table tennis every day for my health. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1297
119183 Question È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 344
119182 If you could have three wishes that would come true, what would... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 235
119181 Do you enjoy the food on airplanes? / What\'s your memorable... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119180 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 179
119179 Do students get enough sleep on school days? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 322
119178 [Homework] Q. What are the advantages and disadvantages of... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 5
119177 If you could have three wishes that would come true, what would... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 288

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04