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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Writing Task(Mar 18th, 2022)

작성자: 남*승
2022-03-21 730

회원님의 영작문

How do you feel about helping others?
It feels great.
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing. And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer. But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they’d been waiting for a long time. We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, U Seung! 

Oh, that is so nice of you and your friends. I bet it was one of your wonderful experience in life. 

Thank you for sharing!

~T. Roanne ^_^
======================================
It feels great.
>> Correct! 
To have the opportunity to see others feel happy is such a wonderful thing. 
>> Correct! 
And if the reason why they smile and laugh is because of me, the wonderfulness is even more.
>> Correct! 
I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lost of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. 
>>I remember the other days when I visited a nearby Senior Care Center with my university friends in which we found out that there were lots of physically and mentally ill and weak seniors who were abandoned by their siblings. 
They seemed to have no hope of any reasons to live longer. 
>> Correct! 
But for a few days, I and my friends planed to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. 
>> But for a few days, I and my friends planned to make them happy through, a kind of, performance. 
We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to loved when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
>> We prepared songs to sing together, dances and plays the elders used to love when they were in our ages, 3,4 decades ago.
We watched the seniors fully enjoying themselves with each others, clapping their hands to the songs we sang and humming as if those had been the moments they’d been waiting for a long time. 
>> Correct! 
We communicated with each other with no need to say a word.
>> Correct! OR We communicated with each other without a need to say a word.
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