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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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What do you hope for your own future?

작성자: 류*선
2022-03-20 718

회원님의 영작문

I don't know exactly what I want to work on in the future. I just want to do what God wants me to do. I worked at the Korean Church in the USA as a pastor before I gave birth to my daughter. I was a passion about my work but I had many experiences that I didn't want to there. While I was working there, I didn't go as planned on my own. The church where I worked was also not my plan to go the first time. Most of the people who were close to me said to me that I should find another church. I already knew that the church had many problems. Especially, one of the problems the church had was the previous pastor left suddenly without any discussion with the congregation. So church members were too disappointed and anger by the previous pastor. After then they were scattered each other. Only six members remained there. Before I become a pastor for the six members, I attended only worship services. After bad happened, Six members needed a pastor. I decided to become a their pastor.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Jane! Now I understand why it was really a difficult assignment but you were sent there in time. It was really meant for you. I hope the church is stronger now. Thank you for sharing!-Faith-
I don't know exactly what I want to work on in the future. 
>> CORRECT
I just want to do what God wants me to do. 
>> CORRECT
OR I just want to follow God's plan for me.
I worked at the Korean Church in the USA as a pastor before I gave birth to my daughter. 
>> I worked at a Korean church in the USA as a pastor before I gave birth to my daughter. 
I was a passion about my work but I had many experiences that I didn't want to there. 
>> I was passionate about my work but I had many experiences there that I didn't want.
While I was working there, I didn't go as planned on my own. 
>> While I was working there, I didn't go on my own.
The church where I worked was also not my plan to go the first time. 
>> The church where I worked for was also not my plan to go for my first assignment.
Most of the people who were close to me said to me that I should find another church. 
>> Most of the people who were close to me said that I should find another church.
I already knew that the church had many problems. 
>> CORRECT
Especially, one of the problems the church had was the previous pastor left suddenly without any discussion with the congregation.
>> Especially, one of the problems the church had was that the previous pastor left suddenly without any discussion with the congregation.
So church members were too disappointed and anger by the previous pastor. 
>> So, the church members were too disappointed and angered by the previous pastor. 
After then they were scattered each other. 
>> Then, they all scattered.
Only six members remained there. 
>> CORRECT. 
Before I become a pastor for the six members, I attended only worship services. 
>> Before I became a pastor for the six members, I attended only worship services. 
After bad happened, Six members needed a pastor. 
>> After this bad thing happened, six members needed a pastor. 
I decided to become a their pastor.
>> Therefore, I decided to become their pastor.
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