¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My weakness

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-03-18 618

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

These day, I have a lot of thinking.
I don't know why I feel so strange.
feel like one of part heart is empty and lonely.
Now I think I'm in a difficult situation mentally.
I'm really busy, but I don't know how to deal with this empty feeling.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne! 

I notice that too. This has been your problem for a while. It actually saddens me. We go through these kinds of phases in our lives but don't worry. Everything will eventually make sense. Just be patient and focus on yourself. I'm always here for you. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

These day, I have a lot of thinking.
>> These days, I haven't been thinking a lot. 

I don't know why I feel so strange.
>> CORRECT

feel like one of part heart is empty and lonely.
>> It feels like one part of my heart is lonely and empty. 

Now I think I'm in a difficult situation mentally.
>> I think that I'm in a difficult situation mentally. 

I'm really busy, but I don't know how to deal with this empty feeling.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117056 Writing 3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117055 Writing 2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117054 Writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117053 Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 551
117052 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 4
117051 This is what I think about tattoos. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 512
117050 Kids\' jobs is studying students ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 379
117049 What is your favorite game to play? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 446
117048 lesson 9 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 263
117047 Please tell me about your country\'s season? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117046 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 441
117045 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 318
117044 I¡¯m going to give you a situation to act out. You just stepped... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117043 How do you feel about tattoos? When you see somebody with a lot... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 374
117042 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117041 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117040 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117039 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1
117038 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 730
117037 Are you concerned about Internet privacy? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04