¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My weakness

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-03-18 619

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

These day, I have a lot of thinking.
I don't know why I feel so strange.
feel like one of part heart is empty and lonely.
Now I think I'm in a difficult situation mentally.
I'm really busy, but I don't know how to deal with this empty feeling.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne! 

I notice that too. This has been your problem for a while. It actually saddens me. We go through these kinds of phases in our lives but don't worry. Everything will eventually make sense. Just be patient and focus on yourself. I'm always here for you. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

These day, I have a lot of thinking.
>> These days, I haven't been thinking a lot. 

I don't know why I feel so strange.
>> CORRECT

feel like one of part heart is empty and lonely.
>> It feels like one part of my heart is lonely and empty. 

Now I think I'm in a difficult situation mentally.
>> I think that I'm in a difficult situation mentally. 

I'm really busy, but I don't know how to deal with this empty feeling.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118216 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 248
118215 today homework. ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 172
118214 Eating colleague ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 3
118213 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 219
118212 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 212
118211 About canned, frozen and processed food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 249
118210 Busan ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 224
118209 What items should people bring with them on a camping trip? And... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 219
118208 What is the best activity to do while camping? Why? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 199
118207 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 3
118206 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 209
118205 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 1
118204 exportation ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 192
118203 2022.4.12 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 442
118202 What do you understand about this famous quote: ¡°An apple a day... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 4
118201 Would you like more money or more vacation? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 6
118200 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 233
118199 4/12 homework ( •̀ ¥ø •́ )y ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 235
118198 The Post Everything on Social Media ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 265
118197 Children crying ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04