¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2022-03-18 608

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! 

Yes, we should be contented with what we have in life. Our appearance brings us character. It's our identity. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance. I also too.
>> Most of people are not satisfied with their appearance and I am one of them. 

I take care of my appearance than the adjusted one.
>> I take care of my appearance instead of changing it. 

I think that we need confidence in our appearance.
>> CORRECT

Self-esteem makes me feel strong in my life.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118101 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 335
118100 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 15
118099 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 295
118098 You is one person who inspires you? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 315
118097 plastics ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 412
118096 Are social networking sites for people who aren¡¯t good at... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118095 What would you do if the food didn¡¯t taste good or you received... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 3
118094 Most people say the book is better than the movie. Is this true... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118093 Do you think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 357
118092 Companies spend millions each year on advertising online, in... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 1
118091 4/7 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 442
118090 I thought it was the whole thing, but the back part is missing.... ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 305
118089 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 1
118088 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 231
118087 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 3
118086 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 281
118085 Studying needs motivation ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 252
118084 What successful goal did you have last year? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 364
118083 Is it important for children to have a pet? Why do people have... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 215
118082 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04