¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why not? Explain in detail.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-03-18 731

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I do. I want to change my nose because my nose is not good on my face. I have a big mouth and medium eyes. My nose is medium, too. Instead of medium size of nose, I want to have a proper size of nose. I think that most people want to change a section of their face. I don't think these are serious problem. I just hope everyone, including me does thier best to love themselves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly! 

Yes, we should be contented with what we have in life. Our appearance brings us character. It's our identity. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Yes, I do. 
>> CORRECT

I want to change my nose because my nose is not good on my face. 
>> I want to change my nose because it doesn't look good on my face. 

I have a big mouth and medium eyes. 
>> I have a big mouth and medium-sized eyes. 

My nose is medium, too. 
>> CORRECT

Instead of medium size of nose, I want to have a proper size of nose. 
>> Instead of having a medium-sized of nose, I want to have a normal-sized one. 

I think that most people want to change a section of their face. 
>> CORRECT

I don't think these are serious problem. 
>> I don't think these are serious problems. 

I just hope everyone, including me does thier best to love themselves.
>> I just hope everyone, including me, will do their best to love themselves.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117543 Writing Task(Mar 18th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 710
117542 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 3
117541 I want to be seated in a non-smoking area. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 415
117540 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 737
117539 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 339
117538 protain ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 686
117537 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 444
117536 How does age affect a person¡¯s ability to learn a new language? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 520
117535 What do you think is a difficult language to learn? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 2
117534 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 0
117533 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 730
117532 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 513
117531 Most valuable thing ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 563
117530 Homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 0
117529 What are some things people can do to keep healthy? ÇÑ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 517
117528 If you are working, what working schedule do you prefer and why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 1
117527 If you were to choose a church where you would be designated,... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 563
117526 What do you hope for your own future? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 684
117525 What motivates you to be part of our company (Bloomberg)? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 364
117524 Good child ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04