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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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What do you have in your bucket list? Write 5 examples with explanation on why this is included in y

작성자: 장*수
2022-03-17 648

회원님의 영작문

What do you have in your bucket list? Write 5 examples with explanation on why this is included in your bucket list.

The first one is buying a house, because if I want to live in Korea or any country, having a house makes my mind comfortable.
Second one is hiking on Beakdoo mountain which is the highest mountain in Korea. Since It is located in North Korea, so I cannot visit there. I'm just waiting for unification.
Third one is returning money to my parents. After I get a job, and if I can earn my money, I want to give that one to my parents. Because they always sacrifice for me.
The fourth one is graduation university with a high score. Because the higher GPA I get, the easier getting a job.
Last one is being happy. Nowadays, I'm adapting to my Chinese life, so I hope everyone being happy, and it also includes me.
Thank you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Yun Su!
It's nice to know the things in your bucket list. I'm sure you can do and achieve thee things because you always do your best. Keep it up!
-T. Caitlyn
What do you have in your bucket list? 
>>CORRECT
Write 5 examples with explanation on why this is included in your bucket list.
>>CORRECT
The first one is buying a house, because if I want to live in Korea or any country, having a house makes my mind comfortable.
>> First on my list is buying a house because having a house of my own makes me feel at ease whether it's in Korea or in another country.
Second one is hiking on Beakdoo mountain which is the highest mountain in Korea. 
>> Second is hiking in Baekdu Mountain which is the highest mountain in Korea.
Since It is located in North Korea, so I cannot visit there. 
>>However, it's located in North Korea so I cannot visit it.
I'm just waiting for unification.
>>CORRECT
Third one is returning money to my parents. 
>>Third one is giving back to my parents.
After I get a job, and if I can earn my money, I want to give that one to my parents.
>> After getting a job and once I started receiving my own salary, I want to give it to my parents.
Because they always sacrifice for me.
>> Because they sacrificed a lot for me.
The fourth one is graduation university with a high score. 
>> The fourth one is graduating from university with a high score.
Because the higher GPA I get, the easier getting a job.
>>Because the higher my GPA is, the easier it is for me to get a job.
Last one is being happy. 
>>CORRECT
Nowadays, I'm adapting to my Chinese life, 
>> Nowadays, I am adapting to life here in China.
so I hope everyone being happy, and it also includes me.
>> So I hope that everyone's happy, and that also includes me.
Thank you.
>>CORRECT
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