¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Third homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-15 783

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best way to find a job.

First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.

And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts have a good influence.
People like positive people and prefer sincere people.

Finally, you have to express yourself.
You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.

This effort will help you find a job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great Tuesday to you, Hazel! ^^
I agree with your thoughts and ideas. 
Your sentences are correct and I just provided some alternatives. ^^
See you in class!

- T. Rina


1. First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
>> CORRECT!

2. The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
>> CORRECT!
OR: The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether he or she gets hired or not. 

3. You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.
>> You have to develop and study your abilities to improve yourself.

4. And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
>> CORRECT!

5. Positive thoughts have a good influence.
>> CORRECT!

6. People like positive people and prefer sincere people.
>> CORRECT!
OR: A lot of people prefer optimistic and sincere individuals.

7. Finally, you have to express yourself.
>> CORRECT!

8. You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
>> CORRECT!

9. It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.
>> CORRECT!

10. This effort will help you find a job.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117253 If we don\'t have a social media app at all. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 370
117252 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 397
117251 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 379
117250 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 7
117249 Are you willing to die for your country? Share your ideas in a... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1
117248 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 629
117247 lesson 12 ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 879
117246 If you could receive one thing in the whole world as a present... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1422
117245 Russia\'s new bond rules pile pressure on Korean firms À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117244 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 987
117243 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 329
117242 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1
117241 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 580
117240 I would appreciate it if you could review the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 827
117239 2022.3.10 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 801
117238 What is the difference between families now compared to families... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 2
117237 Tough cookie Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 1184
117236 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 513
117235 Writing Task (Mar 10th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1226
117234 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04