¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Third homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-15 689

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best way to find a job.

First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.

And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts have a good influence.
People like positive people and prefer sincere people.

Finally, you have to express yourself.
You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.

This effort will help you find a job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great Tuesday to you, Hazel! ^^
I agree with your thoughts and ideas. 
Your sentences are correct and I just provided some alternatives. ^^
See you in class!

- T. Rina


1. First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
>> CORRECT!

2. The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
>> CORRECT!
OR: The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether he or she gets hired or not. 

3. You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.
>> You have to develop and study your abilities to improve yourself.

4. And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
>> CORRECT!

5. Positive thoughts have a good influence.
>> CORRECT!

6. People like positive people and prefer sincere people.
>> CORRECT!
OR: A lot of people prefer optimistic and sincere individuals.

7. Finally, you have to express yourself.
>> CORRECT!

8. You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
>> CORRECT!

9. It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.
>> CORRECT!

10. This effort will help you find a job.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118230 What do you do to keep your memory sharp? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 233
118229 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 255
118228 Talk about your best memory from a holiday. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 241
118227 Is there any kind of greeting that annoys you? ±è*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 4
118226 What do you think about canned, frozen, and processed food? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 254
118225 What is the most popular sport in your country? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 216
118224 What is the best thing about the Internet for you? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 1
118223 How would you like to spend your vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 236
118222 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 253
118221 What are the pros and cons of eating out? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 207
118220 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 3
118219 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 209
118218 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 1
118217 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 210
118216 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 248
118215 today homework. ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 172
118214 Eating colleague ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 3
118213 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 219
118212 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 212
118211 About canned, frozen and processed food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 249

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04