무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is the advantage and disadvantage of owning a pet?

작성자: 주*빈
2022-03-13 603

회원님의 영작문

When we own a pet we can feel stable and get positive energy so we can improve mental health. Also for children, they can relieve the importance of life from owning a pet moreover the children can learn responsibility, self-reliance, and understanding. For an elderly man a pet can be a friend that they can help not be lonely or depressed. The disadvantage of owning a pet is that a pet can mess up your room and house for instance the fear will always be around your room. And the animals bark a lot and spin around the house so if not a detached house, it's hard to raise it. But I think owning a pet is a good idea because there is also quiet and clean animal like fish however all of them can give a good influence on people.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Risa, 
Pets, especially dogs and cats can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, ease loneliness, encourage exercise and playfulness, and even improve your cardiovascular health. Caring for an animal can help children grow up more secure and active. Pets also provide valuable companionship for older adults. The drawbacks of owning a pet are financial commitment because ownership is not cheap, time commitment because pets take time, even if it's a pet you won't socially engage with, the can destroy household if untrained and saying farewell it is never easy to say goodbye to a friend and it is especially difficult to say farewell to a pet. ~ Teacher QUENNY..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we own a pet we can feel stable and get positive energy so we can improve mental health. 
>> When we own a pet we can feel stable as well as secure and get positive energy so we can improve mental health. 
Also for children, they can relieve the importance of life from owning a pet moreover the children can learn responsibility, self-reliance, and understanding. 
>> Also, children can relax and relieve the importance of life from owning a pet moreover the children can learn responsibility, self-reliance, and understanding. 
For an elderly man a pet can be a friend that they can help not be lonely or depressed.
>>For adult people, a pet can be a friend that can help them relieve their loneliness and depression.
 The disadvantage of owning a pet is that a pet can mess up your room and house for instance the fear will always be around your room. 
>> The disadvantage of owning a pet is that a pet can mess up your room and house for instance the fear will always be around your room. (CORRECT) 
And the animals bark a lot and spin around the house so if not a detached house, it's hard to raise it. 
>> And the animals bark a lot and spin around the house so if not a detached house, it's hard to raise it. (CORRECT)
But I think owning a pet is a good idea because there is also quiet and clean animal like fish however all of them can give a good influence on people.
>> But I think owning a pet is a good idea because there is also quiet and clean animal like fish however not all of them can give a good influence on people. (CORRECT) 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we own a pet we can feel stable and get positive energy so we can improve mental health. Also for children, they can relieve the importance of life from owning a pet moreover the children can learn responsibility, self-reliance, and understanding. For an elderly man a pet can be a friend that they can help not be lonely or depressed. The disadvantage of owning a pet is that a pet can mess up your room and house for instance the fear will always be around your room. And the animals bark a lot and spin around the house so if not a detached house, it's hard to raise it. But I think owning a pet is a good idea because there is also quiet and clean animal like fish however all of them can give a good influence on people.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
117459 Homework 기*현 완료 2022-03-17 627
117458 ESSAY: Morals or money? Which one is necessary to survive?... 전*영 완료 2022-03-17 524
117457 Homework 박*은 완료 2022-03-17 2
117456 If you were a celebrity, what kind of movie would you like to... 신*진 완료 2022-03-17 450
117455 homework 이*애 완료 2022-03-17 3
117454 Homework 이*빈 완료 2022-03-17 795
117453 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-03-17 1
117452 1. Do you think that a heart transplant from a pig is a medical... 김*진 완료 2022-03-17 3
117451 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. 신*교 완료 2022-03-17 543
117450 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? 김*규 완료 2022-03-17 2
117449 Why Fintech? 문*현 완료 2022-03-17 795
117448 High Hopes 김*영 완료 2022-03-17 615
117447 Biggest goal in my life 윤*경 완료 2022-03-17 298
117446 What are your weaknesses? 신*섭 완료 2022-03-17 631
117445 If you can change something in the past, what would it be? Share... 이*연 완료 2022-03-17 731
117444 What do you have in your bucket list? Write 5 examples with... 장*수 완료 2022-03-17 623
117443 homework 정*원 완료 2022-03-16 2
117442 homework 정*원 완료 2022-03-16 222
117441 What should be avoided when traveling? 신*후 완료 2022-03-16 469
117440 When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special... 양*은 완료 2022-03-16 804

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]