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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

What was you most unforgettable moment in your hometown? Why?

작성자: 신*진
2022-03-11 640

회원님의 영작문

It is the moment when the typhoon stroke my hometown. Basically, there are little natural disasters in my hometown due to it's location. It's because it is hard for disasters from the ocean like typhoon and tsunami to effect inner land. But there was a unprecedented typhoon which stroke my town. Before the typhoon landed Korea, the Government caused us to prevent for the typhoon and all of the schools closed for a day. So I was happy not to go school then. Furthermore my mom didn't go for work to prevent potential damage. It was nice to stay at home with all of my siblings and mom. But it was a huger disaster than I thought. I was young so the only thing I could do was just watching my mom to tape the window not to break. It is still clear my mom's appearance from behind. Thankfully, there was no damage to my house and family. But I can forget the vacant road even in the afternoon. The day when the typhoon stroke my town is the most unforgettable moment in my town also in my life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Sue! It's never easy to recover from any types of disasters that's why your family and your whole town was so blessed not to experience the worst thing out of it. Stay safe!-Faith-
It is the moment when the typhoon stroke my hometown. 
>> It is the moment when the typhoon struck my hometown. 
Basically, there are little natural disasters in my hometown due to it's location. 
>> CORRECT
It's because it is hard for disasters from the ocean like typhoon and tsunami to effect inner land. 
>> Naturally, it is hard for disasters from the ocean like typhoon and tsunami to affect the inner land. 
But there was a unprecedented typhoon which stroke my town. 
>> But there was an unprecedented typhoon which struck my town. 
Before the typhoon landed Korea, the Government caused us to prevent for the typhoon and all of the schools closed for a day. 
>> Before the typhoon landed Korea, the government caused us to prevent for the typhoon and all of the schools closed for that day. 
So I was happy not to go school then. 
>> So, I was happy not to go school then. 
Furthermore my mom didn't go for work to prevent potential damage. 
>> Furthermore, my mom didn't go for work to prevent potential damages. 
It was nice to stay at home with all of my siblings and mom. 
>> CORRECT
But it was a huger disaster than I thought. 
>> CORRECT
I was young so the only thing I could do was just watching my mom to tape the window not to break. 
>> I was young so the only thing I could do was just watching my mom to tape the window in order not to break it. 
It is still clear my mom's appearance from behind. 
>> CORRECT
OR In my mind, I could still vividly see my mom's appearance from behind. 
Thankfully, there was no damage to my house and family. 
>> CORRECT
But I can forget the vacant road even in the afternoon. 
>> But I can't forget the empty road even in the afternoon. 
The day when the typhoon stroke my town is the most unforgettable moment in my town also in my life.
>> The day when the typhoon struck is the most unforgettable moment in my town also in my life.
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