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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Where do you usually get information about job hiring? Why do you prefer that site?

작성자: 류*선
2022-03-08 511

회원님의 영작문

I usually get information about job hiring through the church's site. My denomination conference notices job hiring for the pastor. They update and post information on their site every year. Before I apply my resume to church, I pray about my job deeply what God wants me to ministry. I would like to share my experience about looking for a job. Before I moved in the USA, I worked at Bethany Korean Methodist Church for a six years. I remind when I applied my resume to this church for the first time. Before working in Bethany Church, I didn't have any experience to apply my resume as an Intern. I didn't know how to apply and where do I have to work. I just wanted to work that God wants me to do. One day during the prayer time, God said to me in my mind, "You will go to the church that I will prepare for you." After that, I was sure God's plan for me. I stopped my worrysome. And I just waited without doubt. After one year, I came across meeting Bethany Church's pastor who hired me.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Amen to this, Jane! Indeed, God works in mysterious ways. He always has a thousand ways to help us. -Faith-
I usually get information about job hiring through the church's site. 
>> CORRECT
My denomination conference notices job hiring for the pastor. 
>> My denomination conference notifies us about job hiring for pastors. 
They update and post information on their site every year. 
>> CORRECT
OR They update and post information on their site annually. 
Before I apply my resume to church, I pray about my job deeply what God wants me to ministry. 
>> Before I forward my resume to a church, I pray about my job deeply to know what God wants me to minister. 
I would like to share my experience about looking for a job. 
>> Now, I would like to share my experience about looking for a job. 
OR Now, I would like to share my experience about my job hunting. 
Before I moved in the USA, I worked at Bethany Korean Methodist Church for a six years. 
>> Before I moved to the USA, I worked at Bethany Korean Methodist Church for six years. 
I remind when I applied my resume to this church for the first time. 
>> I remember when I submit my resume to this church for the first time. 
Before working in Bethany Church, I didn't have any experience to apply my resume as an Intern. 
>> Before working in Bethany Church, I didn't have any experience to write on my resume as an intern. 
I didn't know how to apply and where do I have to work. 
>> I didn't know how to apply and where did I have to work. 
I just wanted to work that God wants me to do. 
>> I just wanted to work that God wanted me to do. 
One day during the prayer time, God said to me in my mind, "You will go to the church that I will prepare for you." 
>> CORRECT
After that, I was sure God's plan for me. 
>> After that, I was sure about God's plan for me. 
I stopped my worrysome. 
>> Therefore,  I stopped worrying.
And I just waited without doubt. 
>> CORRECT
After one year, I came across meeting Bethany Church's pastor who hired me.
>> After one year, I came across the Bethany Church's pastor who hired me.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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