¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What can you say about people who often miss deadlines?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-03-04 557

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, I think everyone has his or her working style. Some people can concentrate on their work more easily at night, and other people do in the morning. Some people like to work enjoying music loudly, and other people like to work silently. Everyone has different working styles. What I want to say is how fast they finish their work can be also one of their habits. Therefore, I think if someone often misses the deadline, or if someone often beats the deadline, they all can be related to his or her habits.

Here is my advice for them. First, try to make a good habit, such as beating the deadline or getting up early in the morning. And keep in mind that habits create personality and personality determines fate. Fixing your bad habits is worthwhile for your whole successful life.

Besides, If you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. Let's not get reprimanded for being late after you had had a hard time finishing it. It's like adding insult to the injury.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve! 

Another profound entry from you!  I was really excited to ask you this question after our lesson. I knew you would probably drop some proverbs and useful advice and I was right! Thank you so much for your effort.

For the corrections, technically, there is only one correction, which is the third to the las sentence, where the capitalization of "IF" was wrong. That was a very minor error! But of course, it is best to avoid the small errors next time. For the first sentence,  semantically speaking, it is correct. But I think the syntax was missing a bit of meaning, so I suggested adding "own", so it will be "his or her own working style". That's what you meant, right? (I do hope so )  The second was also just a suggestion for better word choice. Your sentence was already good, but since your English level is quite high, I think you would like to add "the rate at which" to your set of expressions as well! I will be very happy to her you use it next time. It can really add to your fluency.

Again, thank you so much! I enjoyed reading your entry, and I look forward to your next composition.

Keep it up!
-Teacher Violet.
 

Well, I think everyone has his or her working style. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> Well, I think everyone has his or her own working style. 

Some people can concentrate on their work more easily at night, and other people do in the morning. 
>> CORRECT!

Some people like to work enjoying music loudly, and other people like to work silently.
>> CORRECT!

Everyone has different working styles.
>> CORRECT!

           What I want to say is how fast they finish their work can be also one of their habits. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> What I want to say is the rate at which they finish their work can be also one of their habits. 

Therefore, I think if someone often misses the deadline, or if someone often beats the deadline, they all can be related to his or her habits.
>> CORRECT!

Here is my advice for them.
>> CORRECT!

First, try to make a good habit, such as beating the deadline or getting up early in the morning. 
>> CORRECT!

And keep in mind that habits create personality and personality determines fate. 
>> CORRECT!

Fixing your bad habits is worthwhile for your whole successful life.
>> CORRECT!

Besides, If you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. 
>> Besides, if you should do it, finish it ahead of schedule and get compliments. 

Let's not get reprimanded for being late after you had had a hard time finishing it. 
>> CORRECT!

It's like adding insult to the injury.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116846 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 0
116845 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 0
116844 lesson 6 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 518
116843 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 612
116842 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 707
116841 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 5
116840 Which one do you think is better, living in a country that has 2... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 0
116839 Which one do you think is better, living in a country that has 2... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 750
116838 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 0
116837 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 0
116836 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 2
116835 What was the most boring movie you watched? Share your answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 474
116834 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 377
116833 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 408
116832 HOMEWORK: Why isn¡¯t it good to skip meals? / What may be our... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 268
116831 Four seasons ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 299
116830 What are the benefits and purpose of appliances? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 296
116829 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 0
116828 Have you ever injured yourself while you were exercising? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 5
116827 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 980

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04