무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Kids\' jobs is studying students

작성자: 김*우
2022-03-04 378

회원님의 영작문

In my opinion, receiving the money when kids do their chores is not a good idea. There are two reasons why I think so.
Fist, kids can recognize chores incorrectly. Frankly, kids have to help their parents by doing chores. But these days, most of the kids don't do any chores. Then, they may think that, if we do chores or any works, we must receive a reward. It says that this makes kids to 'The people who don't know kindness', and they may always say that, 'If you want anything to me, then give me money.' When they become adult, then lots of people can criticize them to bad people.
Second, kids can think that chores is their job. If parents give them lots of money, then young kids can understand it to very good job. And, it is not an investing for the kids' futures. They can use this money to useless thing, and studying harder is much better than doing chores harder. So, I think parents give kids money when they study a lot.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

 Hi, Daniel! Thank you for doing your homework.  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Superb! However, you have to be careful with sentence construction. Take note of the corrections below.


- Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, receiving the money when kids do their chores is not a good idea.
>> In my opinion, it is not a good idea to pay kids for doing chores.

There are two reasons why I think so.
>> There are two reasons why I think so. 

Fist, kids can recognize chores incorrectly. 
>> First, this can make kids misunderstand what chores are.

Frankly, kids have to help their parents by doing chores. 
>> This is a good sentence.

But these days, most of the kids don't do any chores. 
>> However, most of the kids these days don't do any housework.

Then, they may think that, if we do chores or any works, we must receive a reward. 
>> If they do, they may think that they must receive rewards.

It says that this makes kids to 'The people who don't know kindness', and they may always say that, 'If you want anything to me, then give me money.' 
>> If this is the case, they won't know what kindness is. They may always say, "If you want me to do something, then give me money."

When they become adult, then lots of people can criticize them to bad people.
>> When they become adults, lots of people might think they're terrible.

Second, kids can think that chores is their job. 
>> Second, kids might think that doing chores can be a means of earning a living. 

If parents give them lots of money, then young kids can understand it to very good job. 
>> If their parents give them lots of money, they might think it is an excellent job. 

And, it is not an investing for the kids' futures.
>> This cannot be good for their future.

 They can use this money to useless thing, and studying harder is much better than doing chores harder. 
>>  They can use this money to buy useless things.

 and studying harder is much better than doing chores harder. 
>> In my opinion, studying harder is much better than doing a lot of chores.

So, I think parents give kids money when they study a lot.
>>  Therefore, I think parents should give their kids money when they study a lot.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
116980 HOMEWORK 박*민 완료 2022-03-02 3
116979 Homework 박*은 완료 2022-03-02 1
116978 We should go to school 김*우 완료 2022-03-02 959
116977 Homework 이*희 완료 2022-03-02 1
116976 : What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘food’? What... 전*민 완료 2022-03-02 666
116975 How do you think should wars be stopped and prevented? 황*별 완료 2022-03-02 785
116974 What is your favorite family gathering? 김*규 완료 2022-03-02 4
116973 1. tasty My food dad cooks 2. planet Earth a is the 3. is dad... 이*희 완료 2022-03-02 1109
116972 Food expression 이*경 완료 2022-03-02 1112
116971 What do you think happened to dinosaurs? Why are children so... 태*서 완료 2022-03-02 731
116970 A phone operator 민*정 완료 2022-03-02 2
116969 My Homework 강*우 완료 2022-03-02 617
116968 Homework 방*영 완료 2022-03-02 639
116967 What are good study habits? 백*진 완료 2022-03-02 897
116966 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? 박*연 완료 2022-03-02 517
116965 Where is the United States of America? / Why do you want to... 주*빈 완료 2022-03-02 400
116964 homework 감*우 완료 2022-03-02 0
116963 Find the adjectives in the sentences. 장*수 완료 2022-03-02 523
116962 lesson 8 homework 이*주 완료 2022-03-02 679
116961 Homework 김*혁 완료 2022-03-02 481

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]