¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think should wars be stopped and prevented?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-03-04 255

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, if we want to stop wars, then, we should try to stop dictatorship.
Dictatorship could make wars because only one person could make the decision about something.
And we also have to prevent wars.
There are a lot of ways to prevent wars, but one of them is education.
We should continue the education about the danger of wars.
I think those ways are the ways that we could stop and prevent wars.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

War is not good in any forms. Victims are the ones mostly affected, not the leaders. These are good ways to stop and prevent them. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

First, if we want to stop wars, then, we should try to stop dictatorship.\
>> First, if we want to stop wars, we should try to stop dictatorship

Dictatorship could make wars because only one person could make the decision about something.
>> 
Dictatorship could make wars because only one person could make decisions for the country. 

And we also have to prevent wars.
>> Also, we have to prevent wars. 

There are a lot of ways to prevent wars, but one of them is education.
>> CORRECT

We should continue the education about the danger of wars.
>> We should continue educating people about the dangers of wars. 

I think those ways are the ways that we could stop and prevent wars.
>> I think those are the ways that could help stop or prevent wars. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117090 lesson 10 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 833
117089 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117088 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 294
117087 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1
117086 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1
117085 Korea abandons vaccine pass mandate À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1
117084 ÀÛ¹®1-1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 7
117083 I can\'t believe still:( ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 668
117082 I want to go on a broadway! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 223
117081 Beyonce. She is my idol ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 246
117080 university ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 145
117079 How difficult is your major in Climate Economics ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117078 Is it okay for a middle-aged man to go back to University to... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117077 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 224
117076 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 512
117075 What do you consider as inappropriate depictions of drinking... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117074 03.04 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117073 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 0
117072 What is the best public transportation in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117071 Find the adjectives in the sentences. 1. You should consider... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04