¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

New city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*³ª
2022-03-03 288

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I moved new my home in Gamil
Gamil is in Hanam, Hanam is in Gyeongido
My new home is an apartment.
This place is so good, because Gamil has a big mountain, and many trees.
but here has disadvantages.
Gamil has many bugs, beacause of a big mountain and many trees.
so I hard to be comfortable in summer
and one another is transportation
This place is no subway, Only have 5 buses
so, when I should go to somewhere, it always took more 30 minutes by bus.
I want to develop transportation before I become an adult.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hana,
In the city life, there are the most luxuries and comfortable amenities and city of the people enjoys much by this facilities. In a city, many of the people live with very comfort for its cultural, economic, and commercial facilities. City life lures to the people for migrating from rural to urban life. A city needs to be a sustainable, livable environment to be a good city to live in. And great places are designed for people, taking into account all their human needs. That means they have fresh air, a lack of noise and trash, and plenty of shade, if necessary. ~ Teacher QUENNY.. Have a great weekend..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I moved new my home in Gamil
>> I moved to my new home in Gamil. 
Gamil is in Hanam, Hanam is in Gyeongido
>> Gamil is in Hanam, Hanam is in Gyeongido City. 
My new home is an apartment.
>> My new home is an apartment.
This place is so good, because Gamil has a big mountain, and many trees.
>> This place is so good and a nice place to live in because Gamil has big mountains and is surrounded by many trees too. 
but here has disadvantages.
>> But it has disadvantages.
Gamil has many bugs, beacause of a big mountain and many trees. so I hard to be comfortable in summer and one another is transportation
>> Gamil has many bugs, because of the big mountains and many trees so it's hard to feel comfortable in summer and ride on one another transportation. 
This place is no subway, Only have 5 buses so, when I should go to somewhere, it always took more 30 minutes by bus.
>> This place has no subway and it only has 5 buses so when I want to go somewhere it always took more than 30 minutes by bus.
I want to develop transportation before I become an adult.
>>  I want to develop the transportation system in our place before I become an adult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I moved new my home in Gamil
Gamil is in Hanam, Hanam is in Gyeongido
My new home is an apartment.
This place is so good, because Gamil has a big mountain, and many trees.
but here has disadvantages.
Gamil has many bugs, beacause of a big mountain and many trees.
so I hard to be comfortable in summer
and one another is transportation
This place is no subway, Only have 5 buses
so, when I should go to somewhere, it always took more 30 minutes by bus.
I want to develop transportation before I become an adult.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116787 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1009
116786 Could you compare yourself to a thing? What is it? and Why? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 870
116785 If you could give advice to Korea\'s next president, what would... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 992
116784 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1014
116783 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 474
116782 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 847
116781 Are instant noodles unhealthy? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116780 The weekend of the third. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116779 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 678
116778 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116777 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 346
116776 ESSAY Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 411
116775 Swimming routine ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 3
116774 When did you first learn to swim? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116773 Know what I want to do ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 578
116772 Teleporting ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 305
116771 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116770 Instant noodles rank first in food output in 2020 amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116769 Do you think that working at home using the internet is good or... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 6
116768 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 620

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04