¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

We should go to school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-03-02 963

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence. We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. Studying alone is very important for our lives. Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. It can help us to have a dream and work hard. In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. School violence is very serious problem these days. But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. However, we can't improve our society ability. School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world. Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society. In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! You were able to make grammatically-correct sentences! Superb!  Thank you for an impressive work.

- Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, homeschooling has lots of advantages and disadvantages, too. 
>> This is a good sentence.

First the advantages are studying freely, and not to be in school violence.
>> The advantages are solitude and freedom from violence.

We can study freely and we can find the best way to study. 
>> With homeschooling, we can study alone. Moreover, we can find the best way to do it.

Studying alone is very important for our lives. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Sometimes we can feel lonely, but I think it may be a travel that find ourselves out. 
>> We might feel lonely sometimes, but I think it may be a way to find out who we are. 

It can help us to have a dream and work hard.
>> It can help us dream and work hard.

In addition, we can avoid school violence by not going to school. 
>> This is a good sentence.

School violence is very serious problem these days.
>> School violence is a very serious problem these days.

But if we do homeschooling, we can avoid that negative situation. 
>> However, if we are homeschooled, we can avoid this negative situation.

However, we can't improve our society ability.
>>  The disadvantage of homeschooling is that we can't improve our social skills.

School is the place where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.
>> School is where students learn how many and diverse people are in the world.

Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lesson about society.
>> Frankly, school violence can be one of the most important lessons about society.

In conclusion, I think we should go to school, but we have to know how to study and work alone.
>> This is a good sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116966 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 524
116965 Where is the United States of America? / Why do you want to... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 407
116964 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 0
116963 Find the adjectives in the sentences. Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 539
116962 lesson 8 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 689
116961 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 489
116960 Writing Task (Mar 1th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 653
116959 South Korea is about to approve vaccinating children ages 5-11.... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 603
116958 Why didn\'t I do the right thing? ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 229
116957 Just Start ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 310
116956 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 789
116955 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 506
116954 What genre of movies is the best for you? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 357
116953 Re:Turn - Ash Wednesday Sermon 3 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 763
116952 Re:Turn - Ash Wednesday Sermon 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 205
116951 Re:Turn - Ash Wednesday Sermon 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 380
116950 Vaccinate ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 377
116949 Do you think it is acceptable to test cosmetics on animals? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 385
116948 What are good study habits? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 283
116947 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04