¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why didn\'t I do the right thing?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-02 250

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I have found something that isn¡¯t mine. One case, long time ago, I got a phone at a bench in a subway station. At that time, I brought the phone to the station office. you know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about someone. I think almost people did like me in korea.

Another case I talk when I walked alone the path in a forest lots years ago. I found money, maybe twenty dollars. I thought I could not find the real owner. so I put the money in my wallet, and then I used that for myself. I knew that was not the right thing to do.

What is different? I think there are easily two questions. one is that I can find the real owner or not. the other is that my efforts for finding the owner is worth more than that thing or not.

Anyway, I know if I find something that isn¡¯t mine, I should look for the real owner. If I can¡¯t, I should bring that to the Lost and Found Center. and then we have to be careful not to lose something.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

Wow! This homework is awesome! As you can see, there were a lot of great sentences on this one! I can see that your last mistakes were gone!
Thank you so much for following my corrections, your essay is so much now! Please observe that you should capitalize the proper names like "Korea" and the beginning of the sentences. 

I am so happy, thank you! I can see a great improvement. 
-Teacher Violet.

Yes, I have found something that isn¡¯t mine. 
>> CORRECT!

One case, long time ago, I got a phone at a bench in a subway station. 
>> One case, a long time ago, I got a phone at a bench in a subway station. 

At that time, I brought the phone to the station office. 
>> CORRECT!

you know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about someone. 
>> You know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about someone. 
OR >> >> You know a phone is very expensive and has lots of information about the owner.

I think almost people did like me in korea.
>> I think most people did like me, in Korea.
OR>> I think most people in Korea did like me.
OR>> I think most Koreans did like me.

Another case I talk when I walked alone the path in a forest lots years ago. 
>> Another case, was when I talked while walking alone on a forest path (lots of) years ago. 

I found money, maybe twenty dollars. 
>> CORRECT!

I thought I could not find the real owner. so I put the money in my wallet, and then I used that for myself. 
>> CORRECT!

I knew that was not the right thing to do.
>> CORRECT!

What is different? 
>> CORRECT!

I think there are easily two questions. 
>> CORRECT!

one is that I can find the real owner or not. the other is that my efforts for finding the owner is worth more than that thing or not.
>> The first is whether I can find the real owner or not and the other is whether my effort for finding the owner is worth more than that thing or not.

Anyway, I know if I find something that isn¡¯t mine, I should look for the real owner. 
>> CORRECT!

If I can¡¯t, I should bring that to the Lost and Found Center. 
>> CORRECT!

and then we have to be careful not to lose something.
>> Finally, we have 
to be careful not to lose something. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116567 Social media is good at human communication. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 318
116566 Have you ever been intimidated by someone¡¯s appearance? What... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 1
116565 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 561
116564 What is a newspaper¡¯s front page? / What¡¯s the headline today? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 495
116563 Writing Exercise: Can you tell me how often you go to a beauty... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 643
116562 Do you prefer tourism package tours or do you prefer to plan... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 1
116561 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 627
116560 22-02-16 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 223
116559 02.18 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 2
116558 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 348
116557 If you won the lottery, would you still pursue your profession... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 5
116556 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 186
116555 What can you say about where your parents work? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 505
116554 2022.2.17 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 509
116553 2022.2.16 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 356
116552 What were your worse experience of rejection and best experience... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 263
116551 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 402
116550 Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 380
116549 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 273
116548 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 784

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04