¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Feb 27th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-03-01 818

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Bungee jumping?>>
I do hate bungee jumping.
I loved to ride the rides at the amusement park.
I wrote in past tense ¡°LOVED¡±
15 years ago, when I was riding a Viking ride. I remember the moment vividly. When the Viking started going up, swinging back and forth, for the first twenty, thirty second I enjoyed it very much. But I suddenly felt a great pain in my chest and could hardly breath. And my eye sight went slowly and I passe out since. When I opened my eyes, I noticed my friends who I went with were all beside me, some talking to the operator of the ride and some making phone calls to 119. But a few minutes later, I passe out again. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself on the bed transported by an ambulance. I was diagnosed with cardiac arrhythmia. The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyse the reaction of my heart with the data. I replied ¡°Are you insane?¡±

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung!

Wow! That's totally an insane thing to ask a weird question from a doctor. I guess, I understand why wouldn't try it. It's really not safe for you to try extreme sports activities due to your condition. Just make sure to keep yourself safe and healthy all the time. Let go of all your worries because it's also not good for your health. Just enjoy life and what it gives you.

Thank you for sharing and have a nice day! 

~T. Roanne ^_^
===============================================
I do hate bungee jumping.
>> Correct! 
I loved to ride the rides at the amusement park.
>> Correct! 
I wrote in past tense ¡°LOVED¡±
>> Correct! 
15 years ago, when I was riding a Viking ride. I remember the moment vividly. 
>> Correct! 
When the Viking started going up, swinging back and forth, for the first twenty, thirty second I enjoyed it very much. 
>> Correct! 
But I suddenly felt a great pain in my chest and could hardly breath. 
>> Correct! 
And my eye sight went slowly and I passe out since. 
>> And my eyesight went slowly and I have passed out from. 
When I opened my eyes, I noticed my friends who I went with were all beside me, some talking to the operator of the ride and some making phone calls to 119. 
>> Correct! 
But a few minutes later, I passe out again. 
>> But a few minutes later, I passed out again. 
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself on the bed transported by an ambulance. 
>> Correct! 
I was diagnosed with cardiac arrhythmia. 
>> Correct! 
The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyse the reaction of my heart with the data. 
>> The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyze the reaction of my heart with the data. 
I replied ¡°Are you insane?¡±
>> Correct! 



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116273 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116272 If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be and... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 686
116271 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116270 Do you think there will be a lot of unemployed people when we... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116269 Terrible olympic:( ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 365
116268 What is a bus station? / Where¡¯s the nearest bus station in... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 198
116267 Definitely Philippines :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 551
116266 How do different types of weather affect you emotions? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116265 My best day. Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 216
116264 How does free time activities differ now compared with the past? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 297
116263 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 335
116262 pick pick ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116261 hw ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1037
116260 What would you do if you woke up one morning and all of the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 735
116259 homework.2 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 375
116258 homework.1 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 645
116257 Why I don\'t want to live in another country. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 274
116256 Wht I like my city ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1091
116255 2 in 3 young people positive about plant-based meat consumption À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116254 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 371

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04