¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Feb 27th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-03-01 779

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Bungee jumping?>>
I do hate bungee jumping.
I loved to ride the rides at the amusement park.
I wrote in past tense ¡°LOVED¡±
15 years ago, when I was riding a Viking ride. I remember the moment vividly. When the Viking started going up, swinging back and forth, for the first twenty, thirty second I enjoyed it very much. But I suddenly felt a great pain in my chest and could hardly breath. And my eye sight went slowly and I passe out since. When I opened my eyes, I noticed my friends who I went with were all beside me, some talking to the operator of the ride and some making phone calls to 119. But a few minutes later, I passe out again. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself on the bed transported by an ambulance. I was diagnosed with cardiac arrhythmia. The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyse the reaction of my heart with the data. I replied ¡°Are you insane?¡±

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung!

Wow! That's totally an insane thing to ask a weird question from a doctor. I guess, I understand why wouldn't try it. It's really not safe for you to try extreme sports activities due to your condition. Just make sure to keep yourself safe and healthy all the time. Let go of all your worries because it's also not good for your health. Just enjoy life and what it gives you.

Thank you for sharing and have a nice day! 

~T. Roanne ^_^
===============================================
I do hate bungee jumping.
>> Correct! 
I loved to ride the rides at the amusement park.
>> Correct! 
I wrote in past tense ¡°LOVED¡±
>> Correct! 
15 years ago, when I was riding a Viking ride. I remember the moment vividly. 
>> Correct! 
When the Viking started going up, swinging back and forth, for the first twenty, thirty second I enjoyed it very much. 
>> Correct! 
But I suddenly felt a great pain in my chest and could hardly breath. 
>> Correct! 
And my eye sight went slowly and I passe out since. 
>> And my eyesight went slowly and I have passed out from. 
When I opened my eyes, I noticed my friends who I went with were all beside me, some talking to the operator of the ride and some making phone calls to 119. 
>> Correct! 
But a few minutes later, I passe out again. 
>> But a few minutes later, I passed out again. 
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself on the bed transported by an ambulance. 
>> Correct! 
I was diagnosed with cardiac arrhythmia. 
>> Correct! 
The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyse the reaction of my heart with the data. 
>> The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyze the reaction of my heart with the data. 
I replied ¡°Are you insane?¡±
>> Correct! 



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117460 ESSAY: Parents should be held responsible for their children\'s... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 404
117459 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 649
117458 ESSAY: Morals or money? Which one is necessary to survive?... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 539
117457 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117456 If you were a celebrity, what kind of movie would you like to... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 477
117455 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117454 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 819
117453 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1
117452 1. Do you think that a heart transplant from a pig is a medical... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117451 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 648
117450 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117449 Why Fintech? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 826
117448 High Hopes ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 653
117447 Biggest goal in my life À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 404
117446 What are your weaknesses? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 657
117445 If you can change something in the past, what would it be? Share... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 744
117444 What do you have in your bucket list? Write 5 examples with... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 696
117443 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117442 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 310
117441 What should be avoided when traveling? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 560

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04