¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which famous celebrity influenced you the most and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: º¯*¿ø
2022-02-28 513

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My favorite influencer is a Monk Beopryun.
He is a Buddhist and delivers a lecture on the subject of happiness. He is a golden youtuber who has more than 1 million subscribers.
I first got to know about him by TV program. He showed in a healing camp program and delivered impacting messages of happiness and the way how we can live wisely.
I was so enlightened and impressed with his words and shed tears of enlightenment.
His ultimate goal looks like the reunification of South and North Korea.
The reason I follow his footstep is he has no interest.
And he is humorous. His speech makes me laugh and the conversation between him and the audiences gives me comfort and hope.
Thanks to him, my attitude toward life and people has executed utterly a 180-degree turn.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Oh, I've never heard of this person. This made me  curious. I will search for him more and listen to his speeches. He sounds like a terrific guy. 

PS: I wish he could influence more people like you. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

My favorite influencer is a Monk Beopryun.
>> CORRECT

He is a Buddhist and delivers a lecture on the subject of happiness. 
>> CORRECT

He is a golden youtuber who has more than 1 million subscribers.
>> CORRECT

I first got to know about him by TV program. 
>>I first got to know about him by a TV program. 

He showed in a healing camp program and delivered impacting messages of happiness and the way how we can live wisely.
>> He showed in a healing camp program and delivered impacting messages of happiness and ways on how we can live wisely.

I was so enlightened and impressed with his words and shed tears of enlightenment.
>> CORRECT

His ultimate goal looks like the reunification of South and North Korea.
>> CORRECT

The reason I follow his footstep is he has no interest.
>> The reason why I follow his footstep is because he has no interests. 

And he is humorous. 
>> He is also humorous. 

His speech makes me laugh and the conversation between him and the audiences gives me comfort and hope.
>> CORRECT

Thanks to him, my attitude toward life and people has executed utterly a 180-degree turn.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 653
117731 How old were you when you went on your first flight? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 6
117730 If I could be an animal ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 517
117729 Food I want to eat. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 403
117728 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 667
117727 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 376
117726 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 539
117725 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1210
117724 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 978
117723 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 531
117722 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 907
117721 HOMEWORK ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 657
117720 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117719 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 585
117718 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 3
117717 Thank you! ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 5
117716 thank you;) ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 4
117715 Choose the correct word to complete the sentences. 1. How ____... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 746
117714 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 806
117713 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 560

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04