¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some good things or bad things about having a computer?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*Áø
2022-02-25 386

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In Good thing, it is comfortable to do anything. Doing homework, finding materials and making Power Point are examples. In bad thing, It can be used too much. Playing games, watching something and chatting get included.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Rachel!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


In Good thing, it is comfortable to do anything. 

>> The good thing is it is comfortable to use when doing anything. 

Doing homework, finding materials and making Power Point are examples. 

>> Doing homework, finding materials, and making a Power Point are some examples. 

In bad thing, It can be used too much. 

>> The bad thing is it can be used too much.

Playing games, watching something and chatting get included.

>> Playing games, watching something, and chatting are some examples.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117957 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 1
117956 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 643
117955 violence ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 467
117954 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 235
117953 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 582
117952 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 302
117951 Have you ever done a small crime before? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 6
117950 Do you think history repeats itself? Explain your answer. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 315
117949 Describe a time when you told your friend an important truth. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-03 498
117948 Is Will Smith¡¯s act justifiable? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-03 1
117947 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-03 388
117946 What are your favorite cultural heritages so far? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-03 507
117945 The violence ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-03 3
117944 I usually eat the ordered foods once or twice a week. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-03 581
117943 Writing Task (Mar 31th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-03 465
117942 Writing Task(Apr 1th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-02 619
117941 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-02 437
117940 Be careful! Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 1040
117939 4/1 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 474
117938 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 617

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04