¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I don\\\'t want to change my field of specialization.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-02-25 730

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If you have time, please try to answer this question. Observe proper punctuation and capitalization. If you have a chance, do you want to change your field of specialization?


Finally, I don¡¯t want to change my field. because I am really satisfied with my field .
That is related to the vocational rehabilitation of the disabled. I work with lots of disabled and non-disabled people together, they each work what they can.
I think anywhere, It is relatively difficult for the disabled to find a job. so the state provides work opportunities for people with disabilities. The company I run is the company for them.

And yet, what if I change my field, think again, now I don¡¯t know what is a good field to me
Anyway, I have to think and prepare some things for life after retirement. I will try to think about it as time permits.

I¡¯m sorry teater! I think my post is a bit long.
you said to me ¡° keep it up¡± ¡°keep up the hard work¡±, so if possible, I¡¯ll keep going!

thank you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Elliot!

Wow, your work is really helpful for humanity. I think it is a very challenging field. It makes you seem like a very respectable man with a big heart. 
Don't worry, it isn't that long, so please do not apologize . I am always glad to read your answers.
For today's corrections, I think only Punctuations (periods . and commas ,) should be used properly, as well as capitalization. Please capitalize (big letters) the first letters of the sentences. Also, please do not be afraid to use pronouns. For example  for the 4th correction, instead of repeating "people with disabilities", you can use "them" instead.

Be proud of your work!
-Teacher Violet

Finally, I don¡¯t want to change my field. because I am really satisfied with my field .
>> Finally, I don¡¯t want to change my field because I am really satisfied with it.

That is related to the vocational rehabilitation of the disabled. 
>> CORRECT! 

I work with lots of disabled and non-disabled people together, they each work what they can.
OR >> I work with lots of disabled and non-disabled people together, they each do what they can.

I think anywhere, It is relatively difficult for the disabled to find a job. so the state provides work opportunities for people with disabilities. 
>>I think anywhere, it is relatively difficult for the disabled to find a job, so the state provides work opportunities for them.

The company I run is the company for them.
>> CORRECT! 

And yet, what if I change my field, think again, now I don¡¯t know what is a good field to me
>>And yet, I think again, what if I change my field? Now I don¡¯t know what is a good field for me.

Anyway, I have to think and prepare some things for life after retirement. 
>> CORRECT! 

I will try to think about it as time permits.
>> CORRECT! 

I¡¯m sorry teater! I think my post is a bit long.
>>I¡¯m sorry teacher! I think my post is a bit long.

you said to me ¡° keep it up¡± ¡°keep up the hard work¡±, so if possible, I¡¯ll keep going!
>> You told me to ¡°keep it up¡± ¡°keep up the hard work¡±, so if possible, I¡¯ll keep going!

thank you.
>>Thank you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116335 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 320
116334 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 653
116333 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 512
116332 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116331 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116330 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 10
116329 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 484
116328 What do children do at a playground? / What do you play with... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 333
116327 lesson 1 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 412
116326 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 6
116325 What would life be like without friends? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 455
116324 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 285
116323 ESSAY: What is the best and most enjoyable activity for the... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 514
116322 Homework (2/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116321 22-02-11 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116320 22-02-09 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116319 Korea: High-profile suicides spark cyber-bullying petition À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116318 How do you manage your anger at work? Share your thoughts and... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116317 How do you respectfully oppose someone\'s opinions? Answer in a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116316 How do you use body language when you communicate in English? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 483

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04