¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I don\\\'t want to change my field of specialization.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-02-25 683

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If you have time, please try to answer this question. Observe proper punctuation and capitalization. If you have a chance, do you want to change your field of specialization?


Finally, I don¡¯t want to change my field. because I am really satisfied with my field .
That is related to the vocational rehabilitation of the disabled. I work with lots of disabled and non-disabled people together, they each work what they can.
I think anywhere, It is relatively difficult for the disabled to find a job. so the state provides work opportunities for people with disabilities. The company I run is the company for them.

And yet, what if I change my field, think again, now I don¡¯t know what is a good field to me
Anyway, I have to think and prepare some things for life after retirement. I will try to think about it as time permits.

I¡¯m sorry teater! I think my post is a bit long.
you said to me ¡° keep it up¡± ¡°keep up the hard work¡±, so if possible, I¡¯ll keep going!

thank you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Elliot!

Wow, your work is really helpful for humanity. I think it is a very challenging field. It makes you seem like a very respectable man with a big heart. 
Don't worry, it isn't that long, so please do not apologize . I am always glad to read your answers.
For today's corrections, I think only Punctuations (periods . and commas ,) should be used properly, as well as capitalization. Please capitalize (big letters) the first letters of the sentences. Also, please do not be afraid to use pronouns. For example  for the 4th correction, instead of repeating "people with disabilities", you can use "them" instead.

Be proud of your work!
-Teacher Violet

Finally, I don¡¯t want to change my field. because I am really satisfied with my field .
>> Finally, I don¡¯t want to change my field because I am really satisfied with it.

That is related to the vocational rehabilitation of the disabled. 
>> CORRECT! 

I work with lots of disabled and non-disabled people together, they each work what they can.
OR >> I work with lots of disabled and non-disabled people together, they each do what they can.

I think anywhere, It is relatively difficult for the disabled to find a job. so the state provides work opportunities for people with disabilities. 
>>I think anywhere, it is relatively difficult for the disabled to find a job, so the state provides work opportunities for them.

The company I run is the company for them.
>> CORRECT! 

And yet, what if I change my field, think again, now I don¡¯t know what is a good field to me
>>And yet, I think again, what if I change my field? Now I don¡¯t know what is a good field for me.

Anyway, I have to think and prepare some things for life after retirement. 
>> CORRECT! 

I will try to think about it as time permits.
>> CORRECT! 

I¡¯m sorry teater! I think my post is a bit long.
>>I¡¯m sorry teacher! I think my post is a bit long.

you said to me ¡° keep it up¡± ¡°keep up the hard work¡±, so if possible, I¡¯ll keep going!
>> You told me to ¡°keep it up¡± ¡°keep up the hard work¡±, so if possible, I¡¯ll keep going!

thank you.
>>Thank you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118477 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 1
118476 childhood image À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 205
118475 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 156
118474 More and more people today are moving away from where their... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 0
118473 What are these problems and how might they be reduced? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 0
118472 Writing Task(Apr 22th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 256
118471 Writing Task(Apr 21th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 385
118470 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 2
118469 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 0
118468 What kind of sport do you want to try? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 231
118467 Do you think there should be a law that requires everyone to... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 1
118466 4/22 h.w Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 308
118465 4.21 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 200
118464 4.20 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 297
118463 Rural area. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 289
118462 The credit card ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-24 2
118461 If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 334
118460 Email ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 6
118459 What is importance of English language. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 272
118458 Email format ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04