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영작교정 게시판

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In which jobs do people have to make very quick decisions based on first impressions?

작성자: 김*경
2022-02-24 458

회원님의 영작문

I think those with jobs related to criminals need to make very quick decisions based on first impressions. For example, detectives have to collect information to solve crimes. They talk to witnesses, informants, and even suspects. They have to know how to get as much information as possible from those who they meet. The First impression is one of the most important elements that influence detectives to decide who those they meet are. You shouldn't judge others by only first impressions, but it is also true that first impressions give a lot of things about them.
Salesman is also one of the people who have to make a quick decision by first impressions. They think about the most effective way to sell their products or services to customers, and they should collect as much information about customers as possible through their first impressions. They customize their strategy for every customer based on information, including first impressions to win contracts with their customers.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve! You used the most appropriate words for each of the sentences. Great job!  Be careful though with pronouns.


- Debbie


I think those with jobs related to criminals need to make very quick decisions based on first impressions. 
>> I think those with jobs related to criminal justice need to make very quick decisions based on first impressions. 

For example, detectives have to collect information to solve crimes.
>> This is a good sentence,

They talk to witnesses, informants, and even suspects.
>> This is a good sentence.

 They have to know how to get as much information as possible from those who they meet.
>> This is a good sentence.

 The First impression is one of the most important elements that influence detectives to decide who those they meet are.
>> The first impression is one of the most important elements that influences detectives to decide who is guilty.

 You shouldn't judge others by only first impressions, but it is also true that first impressions give a lot of things about them.
>> You shouldn't judge others only by first impressions, but it is true that first impressions give a lot of information about people.

Salesman is also one of the people who have to make a quick decision by first impressions.
>> A salesman is also one of the people who has to make a quick decision by first impressions.

They think about the most effective way to sell their products or services to customers, and they should collect as much information about customers as possible through their first impressions. 
>> He thinks about the most effective way to sell his products or services to customers, and he should collect as much information as possible about the customers through first impressions. 

They customize their strategy for every customer based on information, including first impressions to win contracts with their customers.
>> He customizes his strategy for every customer based on information, including first impressions, to win contracts with his customers.
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