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If you could give advice to Korea\'s next president, what would it be?

작성자: 김*경
2022-02-24 1022

회원님의 영작문

If I could give advice to the next president, I strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions. I hope they don't mistake people for knowing nothing.Some previous president tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media that he could accumulated a lot of money through corruption. However, behold how their ends were! Were they happy? Were they loved by people? Absolutely not! All the evils that they tried to hide were revealed. Their dignity as a former president fell to the ground. This new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors. He should try to communicate with people. He shouldn't fall into arrogance that he can do anything. He has to pick the right aids and trust them.
The new president will know what to do during his term. but it's more important to put it into practice than to know, and it's easier said than done. We will often need to help him practice his plan because Korea is the country that we make together.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Steve! You were able to construct sentences with proper grammar. Keep writing!

- Debbie

If I could give advice to the next president, I strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions.
>> If I could give advice to the next president, I would strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions.

I hope they don't mistake people for knowing nothing.
>> I hope he doesn't mistake people for not knowing anything.

Some previous president tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media that he could accumulated a lot of money through corruption. 
>>  Some former presidents tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media so they could accumulate a lot of money through corruption. 

However, behold how their ends were! 
>> However, look where they ended up.

Were they happy? 
>> This is a good sentence.

Were they loved by people? 
>> This is a good sentence.

Absolutely not! 
>> Good!

All the evils that they tried to hide were revealed. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Their dignity as a former president fell to the ground. 
>> They lost their dignity. 

This new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors. 
>> The new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors.

He should try to communicate with people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

He shouldn't fall into arrogance that he can do anything.
>> He shouldn't be arrogant and think that he can do anything.

 He has to pick the right aids and trust them.
>> This is a good sentence.

The new president will know what to do during his term. 
>> A new president knows what to do during his term.

but it's more important to put it into practice than to know, and it's easier said than done. 
>> However, knowing how to do something is more important. 

We will often need to help him practice his plan because Korea is the country that we make together.
>> The citizens will often need to help him put his plan into action because we are one in Korea.
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