¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could give advice to Korea\'s next president, what would it be?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-02-24 975

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I could give advice to the next president, I strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions. I hope they don't mistake people for knowing nothing.Some previous president tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media that he could accumulated a lot of money through corruption. However, behold how their ends were! Were they happy? Were they loved by people? Absolutely not! All the evils that they tried to hide were revealed. Their dignity as a former president fell to the ground. This new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors. He should try to communicate with people. He shouldn't fall into arrogance that he can do anything. He has to pick the right aids and trust them.
The new president will know what to do during his term. but it's more important to put it into practice than to know, and it's easier said than done. We will often need to help him practice his plan because Korea is the country that we make together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! You were able to construct sentences with proper grammar. Keep writing!

- Debbie

If I could give advice to the next president, I strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions.
>> If I could give advice to the next president, I would strongly ask him to win the hearts of people with sincere words and actions.

I hope they don't mistake people for knowing nothing.
>> I hope he doesn't mistake people for not knowing anything.

Some previous president tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media that he could accumulated a lot of money through corruption. 
>>  Some former presidents tried to cover the eyes and ears of people by controlling the media so they could accumulate a lot of money through corruption. 

However, behold how their ends were! 
>> However, look where they ended up.

Were they happy? 
>> This is a good sentence.

Were they loved by people? 
>> This is a good sentence.

Absolutely not! 
>> Good!

All the evils that they tried to hide were revealed. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Their dignity as a former president fell to the ground. 
>> They lost their dignity. 

This new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors. 
>> The new president should learn a lesson from his predecessors.

He should try to communicate with people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

He shouldn't fall into arrogance that he can do anything.
>> He shouldn't be arrogant and think that he can do anything.

 He has to pick the right aids and trust them.
>> This is a good sentence.

The new president will know what to do during his term. 
>> A new president knows what to do during his term.

but it's more important to put it into practice than to know, and it's easier said than done. 
>> However, knowing how to do something is more important. 

We will often need to help him practice his plan because Korea is the country that we make together.
>> The citizens will often need to help him put his plan into action because we are one in Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116495 How do you feel and what do you do after a long vacation?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 378
116494 My favorite fairy tale characters ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 366
116493 Is it important to help other people? Why or why not? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 350
116492 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 216
116491 Do you like dogs? Why do people call the dog, man\'s best friend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 458
116490 Cafe ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1
116489 I have seen duck tongue dishes. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 3
116488 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 394
116487 What is your favorite movie and why is that your favorite? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 346
116486 The vegetarian ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 4
116485 25.26.27 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 191
116484 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 685
116483 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 274
116482 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 11
116481 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 0
116480 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 200
116479 Homework (2/16) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 0
116478 If you would introduce a place in your town, which place would... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1
116477 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 3
116476 HOMEWORK: What kinds of flowers do you like? How would you feel... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 123

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04