¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thursday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-02-24 666

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some good things or bad things about having a computer?
A:The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The good thing is that people can get infromation fastly, and the bad thing is people could be addiction to computer.

>> The good thing is that people can get information quickly, and the bad thing is that people could become addicted to a computer.
Before, when people didn't invented computer people should get information at the library, and it takes so long time, but not now.

>> Before the computer has been invented, people get information at the library and it takes a long time to get it, but not anymore now.
But, nowadays many people are addiction to computer, so their eyes would be not good and they could be lazy.

>> Nowadays, many people are addicted to the computer, it has a bad effect on their eyes and they tend to become lazy.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116659 What are the benefits of short travels and long travels? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 960
116658 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 391
116657 Coffee shops ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 282
116656 What is your favorite English movie and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 184
116655 What is your favorite way to practice your English? Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 414
116654 Do you believe in the saying ¡°Tell me who your friends are and... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 327
116653 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 159
116652 How is beauty defined in your culture? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 501
116651 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 3
116650 My homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 419
116649 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 187
116648 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 0
116647 What is an editorial page? / Why is it important to read the... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 272
116646 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 267
116645 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 198
116644 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 572
116643 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 414
116642 What is your friend\'s bucket list? OR What is a common bucket... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 278
116641 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 372
116640 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 486

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04