¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Know what I want to do

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-24 671

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
That is most important thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Yes, we should pursue our dreams. Eventually it will all be worth it. There's actually a saying that if you love doing something, you will never work a single day in your life again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
>> Many adults usually talk to the youth about employment. The most important thing to consider is whether it is stable. 

I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
>> I think that looking for a stable company is a good thing. 

But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
>> But in my personal opinion, I want to do what I want to do. 

That is most important thing.
>> That is the most important thing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115671 Korea becomes largest buyers of U.S. beef À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-18 1
115670 Chores Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 781
115669 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 810
115668 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 306
115667 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115666 What company rule or protocol do you not agree with? Why? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 357
115665 Are you taking any medical drugs right now? Why? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 381
115664 Motivation to study hard! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 581
115663 It was great traveling ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 719
115662 Macchu Picchu is the most mysterious place among these ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 368
115661 What special features do you think should be added to computers?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 849
115660 I think everyone has a choice ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 478
115659 I love my life ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 654
115658 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 136
115657 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115656 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 526
115655 Responsibility ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115654 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 148
115653 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 332
115652 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04