¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Know what I want to do

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-24 509

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
That is most important thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Yes, we should pursue our dreams. Eventually it will all be worth it. There's actually a saying that if you love doing something, you will never work a single day in your life again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
>> Many adults usually talk to the youth about employment. The most important thing to consider is whether it is stable. 

I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
>> I think that looking for a stable company is a good thing. 

But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
>> But in my personal opinion, I want to do what I want to do. 

That is most important thing.
>> That is the most important thing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116967 What are good study habits? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 900
116966 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 519
116965 Where is the United States of America? / Why do you want to... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 407
116964 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 0
116963 Find the adjectives in the sentences. Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 524
116962 lesson 8 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 682
116961 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 482
116960 Writing Task (Mar 1th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 645
116959 South Korea is about to approve vaccinating children ages 5-11.... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 602
116958 Why didn\'t I do the right thing? ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 219
116957 Just Start ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 289
116956 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 765
116955 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 483
116954 What genre of movies is the best for you? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 357
116953 Re:Turn - Ash Wednesday Sermon 3 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 763
116952 Re:Turn - Ash Wednesday Sermon 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 191
116951 Re:Turn - Ash Wednesday Sermon 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 334
116950 Vaccinate ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 377
116949 Do you think it is acceptable to test cosmetics on animals? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 368
116948 What are good study habits? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 283

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04