¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Know what I want to do

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-24 550

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
That is most important thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Yes, we should pursue our dreams. Eventually it will all be worth it. There's actually a saying that if you love doing something, you will never work a single day in your life again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Many adults usually talk to youth about the employment, first important thing is it's stable or not.
>> Many adults usually talk to the youth about employment. The most important thing to consider is whether it is stable. 

I think someone looking for a job to only company, I agree too.
>> I think that looking for a stable company is a good thing. 

But my personal opinion is what is my dream, know what I want to do.
>> But in my personal opinion, I want to do what I want to do. 

That is most important thing.
>> That is the most important thing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117306 If you could turn back time, would you like to change your... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 902
117305 for me or others, we have to be careful in choosing colors ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 373
117304 Do you also consider yourself as a perfectionist? Why or why not? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 600
117303 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 0
117302 How would the world be different if all leaders were women? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 507
117301 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 454
117300 Experence ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 293
117299 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 494
117298 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 2
117297 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 418
117296 Second homework À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 710
117295 What is the advantage and disadvantage of owning a pet? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 626
117294 What are some things you shouldn\'t ask people you just met? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 2
117293 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 1075
117292 Have you ever had any bad experiences with fire? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 676
117291 Make a sentence ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 492
117290 What do you appreciate the most when you are traveling? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 940
117289 Tell me about your previous Project Management Experience. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 777
117288 The music ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 1
117287 Talk about the time when you handled the difficult customer. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-13 736

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04