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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

45.46,47

작성자: 김*현
2022-02-24 581

회원님의 영작문

45 Hello. This is harry. Do you have a minute? as a matter of fact, I lost your camera yesterday. When I went to the shopping mall, It was so crowded that I wasn't conscious about your camera. As soon as the day breaks tomorrow, I hope I can buy a new camera. You used to use for it despite this oldness, so you would like it. See you again on tomorrow!
46 Hello, I would like to report a problem for this computer. It seems that it has some lapses between its hardware. As you can see, It stops suddenly when I am working on this essay. I need your help immediately since I am busy with my own project. Let me know when It can be fixed. Thank you.
47 I am sorry to bother you but, This is Harry from your literature class. Since I have some difficulties between our own project, I would be appreciate your help. The first question is that, you mentioned that we are now allowed to use internet, but could it be possible? We are on a first grade, so we are not familiar with this theme. Thanks.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Harry, 
You share your opinion in a detailed way and use nice terms in your statements. You did a wonderful job in giving the appropriate answers for the question and you relayed your ideas concisely but minor grammar slips are still noticeable. You have a quite rich vocabulary. I hope that you will constantly improve your grammar skills. And I'd like you to expand your vocabulary and brush up on some grammar rules. ~ Teacher QUENNY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
45 Hello. This is harry. Do you have a minute? as a matter of fact, I lost your camera yesterday. 
>> Hello. This is Harry. Do you have a minute? As a matter of fact, I lost your camera yesterday. 
When I went to the shopping mall, It was so crowded that I wasn't conscious about your camera. I
>> When I went to the shopping mall it was so crowded that I wasn't conscious about your camera.  I apologized for what happened. 
As soon as the day breaks tomorrow, I hope I can buy a new camera. 
>>  But as soon as the daybreak tomorrow, I hope I can buy a new camera as a replacement for the camera that I lost. 
You used to use for it despite this oldness, so you would like it. See you again on tomorrow!
>> You're used to using it despite its oldness, so I would like to buy a new high-tech camera for you to use. See you again tomorrow!
46 
Hello, I would like to report a problem for this computer. 
>> Hello, I would like to report a problem with this computer. 
It seems that it has some lapses between its hardware. 
>> It seems that it has some lapses between its hardware. 
As you can see, It stops suddenly when I am working on this essay. 
>> As you can see, it suddenly stops when I am working on this essay. 
I need your help immediately since I am busy with my own project. 
>> I need your help immediately since I am busy doing my own project.
Let me know when It can be fixed. Thank you.
>> Let me know when it can be fixed. I hope that you will take immediate action on this problem. Thank you.
47
 I am sorry to bother you but, This is Harry from your literature class. 
>> Hi Good morning sir. I am sorry to bother you. This is Harry from your literature class. 
Since I have some difficulties between our own project, I would be appreciate your help. 
>> Since I have some difficulties with our individual project, I would like to ask for some details and appreciate your help.
The first question is that, you mentioned that we are now allowed to use internet, but could it be possible? 
>> The first question is, you mentioned that we are now allowed to use the internet, but could it be possible? 
We are on a first grade, so we are not familiar with this theme. Thanks
>> We are in first grade, so we are not familiar with this theme. Can you explain in detail about this project sir? Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
45 Hello. This is harry. Do you have a minute? as a matter of fact, I lost your camera yesterday. When I went to the shopping mall, It was so crowded that I wasn't conscious about your camera. As soon as the day breaks tomorrow, I hope I can buy a new camera. You used to use for it despite this oldness, so you would like it. See you again on tomorrow!
46 Hello, I would like to report a problem for this computer. It seems that it has some lapses between its hardware. As you can see, It stops suddenly when I am working on this essay. I need your help immediately since I am busy with my own project. Let me know when It can be fixed. Thank you.
47 I am sorry to bother you but, This is Harry from your literature class. Since I have some difficulties between our own project, I would be appreciate your help. The first question is that, you mentioned that we are now allowed to use internet, but could it be possible? We are on a first grade, so we are not familiar with this theme. Thanks.
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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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