¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst invention ever and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-21 308

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst invention ever.
I can't know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are killing one another with those weapons.
Because of these things, people who don't have any faults are dying.
And we shouldn't make these kinds of circumstances.
That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention to the humans.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

I heard from one of my students that the inventor of bombs didn't intend to make it to kill other people, but to use it for mining. So, there are different  usages for these weapons but people use it for violence. Many innocent people are greatly  affected by this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst invention ever.
>>In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst inventions ever.

I can't know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are killing one another with those weapons.
>> I know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are using it to kill one another. 

Because of these things, people who don't have any faults are dying.
>> Because of these things, many people become victims. 

And we shouldn't make these kinds of circumstances.
>> CORRECT

That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention to the humans.
>> That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention by humans.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116727 Most People Keep their New Year\'s Resolution À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116726 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 316
116725 If you could choose an activity which you and your family could... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116724 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116723 Do you think that older people make better leaders? Explain your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116722 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 595
116721 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 6
116720 DO you have too many things in your home? Does it feel cluttered... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 4
116719 lesson 5/ 6 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 533
116718 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 299
116717 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 224
116716 I will go to Sobaeksan Recreational Forest. So I will be absent... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 165
116715 Avoid watching news is the way to lose our stress. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 531
116714 Try to define the given expression, using your own words. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 432
116713 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 775
116712 Choose the correct plural. ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 267
116711 2022.2.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 177
116710 What would be the most satisfying career for you? why? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116709 Should parents help their children plan their future? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 438
116708 Do you love to travel? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-22 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04