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영작교정 게시판

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If ever you will have a super power, what would it be?

작성자: 황*하
2022-02-21 746

회원님의 영작문

If I could fly, I would save patients who are under emergency situation such as heart attack, brain hemorrhage and so on. I have leart that arrival time to the hospital is main factor to save heart attack patients. It is known that 5 minutes are the golden time. Medical experts can use helicopter but it is not as faster as me, if I could fly. In addition, I can save a lot of time to travel anywhere. My family really love going on a trip but my children always suffer from travel time to the destination. They frequently ask me how far it is and how long it takes. It sometimes bothers me. If I have super power, I don't need to explain about total travel time to my children and no need to drive for a long time. Actually, Africa continent is area which people can't access easily due to the unstable public order and situation around each country. People need to prepare a lot if they go there however, if I could fly, I can arrive there in few minute and travel all cities quickly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Hwang!^^ 

As per Spiderman, " Great power comes with great responsibility!" 

When I was reading your homework, I was smiling because it shows how good of a person you are. 
You will always think of your patients and you would do anything to save them or help them. 
The super power that you'll have is not only for you, but it's for everybody. 

If I could have a super power, I want to be invisible. There are times that I don't want to be seen by anybody. haha.. 

Teacher Andrea 

If I could fly, I would save patients who are under emergency situation such as heart attack, brain hemorrhage and so on. 
>> If I could fly, I would save patients who are under emergency situations such as heart attack, brain hemorrhage and so on. 

I have leart that arrival time to the hospital is main factor to save heart attack patients. 
>> I have learnt that the arrival time at the hospital is the main factor to save heart attack patients. 

It is known that 5 minutes are the golden time.
>> It is known that 5 minutes is the golden time. 

Medical experts can use helicopter but it is not as faster as me, if I could fly. 
>> Medical experts can use a helicopter but it wouldn't fast as me if I could fly. 

In addition, I can save a lot of time to travel anywhere. 
>> Correct 

My family really love going on a trip but my children always suffer from travel time to the destination. 
>> My family really loves going on a trip but my children always suffer from the travel time because of the destination. 

They frequently ask me how far it is and how long it takes. It sometimes bothers me. 
>> Correct 

If I have super power, I don't need to explain about total travel time to my children and no need to drive for a long time. 
>> Correct 

Actually, Africa continent is area which people can't access easily due to the unstable public order and situation around each country. 
>> Actually, Africa is an area which people can't access easily due to it's unstable public transportation and situation. 

People need to prepare a lot if they go there however, if I could fly, I can arrive there in few minute and travel all cities quickly.
>> People need to prepare a lot if they go there however, if I could fly, I can arrive there in few minutes and travel all cities quickly.

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