¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why I think learning English is important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2022-02-20 620

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think learning English is important.
That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Joey!   The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Good job!  

Please take note of the corrections. 


- Teacher Debbie

I think learning English is important.
>> This is a good sentence.

That is because when we don't learn English, we failed at the entrance exam.
>> That is because when we don't learn English, we will fail an entrance exam.

My second reason is when we don't learn English, we can't do communicate with foreigners.
>> Moreover, we won't be able to communicate with foreigners.

My third reason is when we don't learn English, it is impossible to learn another subject. 
>> When we don't learn English, it will be impossible to learn another subject. 

That is because there are so many English is in at our subjects.
>> That is because there are so many English words in other subjects.

Finally, when we have mastered this English, we have so much money from the government.
>> When we have mastered English, we can get so much money from the government.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117609 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1
117608 Studying abraod ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 775
117607 homework~~!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 700
117606 Korea Presidential Election day. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 529
117605 Animals on our planet. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 853
117604 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 2
117603 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 873
117602 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1462
117601 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 992
117600 Do you think it is important for men to join the military... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1063
117599 My family rules ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1
117598 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 422
117597 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 613
117596 About my times À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 222
117595 Comic strips ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1033
117594 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 0
117593 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 5
117592 What are your favorite ways to exercise? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1
117591 Answer to \"What\'s your favorite food?\" ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1
117590 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 208

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04