¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I\\\'m doing my homework...^^

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çü
2022-02-20 480

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Last weekend, I was so bored. Recently the confirmed people are so increasing that I stayed my home except whenever I work. I couldn't stand anymore this circumstance I stay home. So today we climbed a mountain. Even if it was very cold, we relieved stressed. There were many people climbing in there. Although we didn't prepare shoes for climbing, it was no problem. And we dropped by the astronomical observatory in there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul but I felt happy. It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and story for the universe in there.
After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. It was very delicious and good price. We talked about what we visit in there again next weekend too.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Dearest Miss Rachel,

Thank you for sharing about your weekend activity in detail! Again, I am stunned by your story telling abilities. 
How was the temperature then? You said it was very cold, so I wonder what the temperature was. And you didn't use the appropriate shoes!? That's a bit surprising! I wonder if it snowed. Isn't it difficult to walk on icy ground? I assume you were with your family members? It might be really nice if you were with them. It is important to have acquaintances when climbing mountains just in case of emergencies. I really like that you shared about the food you ate too! It just shows that you appreciated these memories.

For today's corrections, please observe that there were some important words missing. For example, for "confirmed people", you forgot to indicate the context. It is better to mention "confirmed positive cases of COVID 19". Remember that you can also have confirmed negative cases. I also think you found it hard to phrase some thoughts so please check out the third line about 'staying at home'.  Please take note to be careful in choosing the proper words. For example, "Relieved stressed". The "stressed" that you used here might be an adjective, but we need a noun to pair up with the verb "relieve" so we must use "stress", like in "relieve stress". 

Please check out and observe some of the other corrections. I hope you found them helpful.
I am personally very happy when you answer my homework. I can see the effort you put in them 

Stay safe!
-Teacher Violet 

Last weekend, I was so bored. 
>> CORRECT! :)

Recently the confirmed people are so increasing that I stayed my home except whenever I work. 
>> Recently, the confirmed positive cases of COVID 19 are increasing so much that I stayed home except for when I work.

I couldn't stand anymore this circumstance I stay home. So today we climbed a mountain.  
>> I couldn't stand staying at home anymore, so today we climbed a mountain. 

Even if it was very cold, we relieved stressed.
>> 
Even if it was very cold, we relieved stress.
OR >>>> Even if it was very cold, we were still able to relieve stress.

There were many people climbing in there. 
>> There were many people climbing there. 

Although we didn't prepare shoes for climbing, it was no problem. 
>>  CORRECT! :)

And we dropped by the astronomical observatory in there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul but I felt happy. 
>> We also dropped by the astronomical observatory there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul, but I felt happy. 

It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and story for the universe in there.
>> It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and stories about the universe there.

After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. 
>> After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. 

It was very delicious and good price. 
>> It was very delicious and had a good price. 

We talked about what we visit in there again next weekend too.
>> (Do you mean...?) We thought about visiting there again next weekend too.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115964 hi °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 739
115963 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 918
115962 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 428
115961 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115960 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 594
115959 Live with someone ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 725
115958 Homework (1/26) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115957 What¡¯s the most memorable weekend have you had in the past... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 3
115956 Would you describe yourself as a workaholic? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115955 What do you know about the history of heath care in your country? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115954 homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 398
115953 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115952 What exotic food would you like to try? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115951 Is there a difference in friendship between your male friends... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115950 Do you think dogs should be banned from parks? Why? º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 420
115949 Who is the teacher that inspired you the most when you were... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 339
115948 Do you still practice Korean celebrations while living in... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115947 Why do you think people sell secondhand products these days? ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115946 What is your thought about a four-day workweek? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 106
115945 Is it okay to have plastic surgery even if you\'re a minor? ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04