¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I\\\'m doing my homework...^^

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çü
2022-02-20 383

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Last weekend, I was so bored. Recently the confirmed people are so increasing that I stayed my home except whenever I work. I couldn't stand anymore this circumstance I stay home. So today we climbed a mountain. Even if it was very cold, we relieved stressed. There were many people climbing in there. Although we didn't prepare shoes for climbing, it was no problem. And we dropped by the astronomical observatory in there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul but I felt happy. It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and story for the universe in there.
After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. It was very delicious and good price. We talked about what we visit in there again next weekend too.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Dearest Miss Rachel,

Thank you for sharing about your weekend activity in detail! Again, I am stunned by your story telling abilities. 
How was the temperature then? You said it was very cold, so I wonder what the temperature was. And you didn't use the appropriate shoes!? That's a bit surprising! I wonder if it snowed. Isn't it difficult to walk on icy ground? I assume you were with your family members? It might be really nice if you were with them. It is important to have acquaintances when climbing mountains just in case of emergencies. I really like that you shared about the food you ate too! It just shows that you appreciated these memories.

For today's corrections, please observe that there were some important words missing. For example, for "confirmed people", you forgot to indicate the context. It is better to mention "confirmed positive cases of COVID 19". Remember that you can also have confirmed negative cases. I also think you found it hard to phrase some thoughts so please check out the third line about 'staying at home'.  Please take note to be careful in choosing the proper words. For example, "Relieved stressed". The "stressed" that you used here might be an adjective, but we need a noun to pair up with the verb "relieve" so we must use "stress", like in "relieve stress". 

Please check out and observe some of the other corrections. I hope you found them helpful.
I am personally very happy when you answer my homework. I can see the effort you put in them 

Stay safe!
-Teacher Violet 

Last weekend, I was so bored. 
>> CORRECT! :)

Recently the confirmed people are so increasing that I stayed my home except whenever I work. 
>> Recently, the confirmed positive cases of COVID 19 are increasing so much that I stayed home except for when I work.

I couldn't stand anymore this circumstance I stay home. So today we climbed a mountain.  
>> I couldn't stand staying at home anymore, so today we climbed a mountain. 

Even if it was very cold, we relieved stressed.
>> 
Even if it was very cold, we relieved stress.
OR >>>> Even if it was very cold, we were still able to relieve stress.

There were many people climbing in there. 
>> There were many people climbing there. 

Although we didn't prepare shoes for climbing, it was no problem. 
>>  CORRECT! :)

And we dropped by the astronomical observatory in there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul but I felt happy. 
>> We also dropped by the astronomical observatory there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul, but I felt happy. 

It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and story for the universe in there.
>> It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and stories about the universe there.

After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. 
>> After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. 

It was very delicious and good price. 
>> It was very delicious and had a good price. 

We talked about what we visit in there again next weekend too.
>> (Do you mean...?) We thought about visiting there again next weekend too.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116550 Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 304
116549 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 183
116548 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 712
116547 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 296
116546 2/17 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 284
116545 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116544 They say exercise helps improve mood. How? Write at least 5... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 334
116543 Chemical firms on high alert for toughened safety law À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116542 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 133
116541 89-year-old graduates college with highest honors À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116540 I think I\'m going to work ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 306
116539 Stocks:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 262
116538 use of the phone ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 381
116537 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 102
116536 Do you exercise? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 3
116535 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 83
116534 What do you think about voting? Is it a good way to make... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 385
116533 Does your family have a movie night? Tell me about it. ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 332
116532 29.30.31 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 313
116531 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04