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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I\\\'m doing my homework...^^

작성자: 박*형
2022-02-20 417

회원님의 영작문

Last weekend, I was so bored. Recently the confirmed people are so increasing that I stayed my home except whenever I work. I couldn't stand anymore this circumstance I stay home. So today we climbed a mountain. Even if it was very cold, we relieved stressed. There were many people climbing in there. Although we didn't prepare shoes for climbing, it was no problem. And we dropped by the astronomical observatory in there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul but I felt happy. It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and story for the universe in there.
After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. It was very delicious and good price. We talked about what we visit in there again next weekend too.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Dearest Miss Rachel,

Thank you for sharing about your weekend activity in detail! Again, I am stunned by your story telling abilities. 
How was the temperature then? You said it was very cold, so I wonder what the temperature was. And you didn't use the appropriate shoes!? That's a bit surprising! I wonder if it snowed. Isn't it difficult to walk on icy ground? I assume you were with your family members? It might be really nice if you were with them. It is important to have acquaintances when climbing mountains just in case of emergencies. I really like that you shared about the food you ate too! It just shows that you appreciated these memories.

For today's corrections, please observe that there were some important words missing. For example, for "confirmed people", you forgot to indicate the context. It is better to mention "confirmed positive cases of COVID 19". Remember that you can also have confirmed negative cases. I also think you found it hard to phrase some thoughts so please check out the third line about 'staying at home'.  Please take note to be careful in choosing the proper words. For example, "Relieved stressed". The "stressed" that you used here might be an adjective, but we need a noun to pair up with the verb "relieve" so we must use "stress", like in "relieve stress". 

Please check out and observe some of the other corrections. I hope you found them helpful.
I am personally very happy when you answer my homework. I can see the effort you put in them 

Stay safe!
-Teacher Violet 

Last weekend, I was so bored. 
>> CORRECT! :)

Recently the confirmed people are so increasing that I stayed my home except whenever I work. 
>> Recently, the confirmed positive cases of COVID 19 are increasing so much that I stayed home except for when I work.

I couldn't stand anymore this circumstance I stay home. So today we climbed a mountain.  
>> I couldn't stand staying at home anymore, so today we climbed a mountain. 

Even if it was very cold, we relieved stressed.
>> Even if it was very cold, we relieved stress.
OR >>>> Even if it was very cold, we were still able to relieve stress.

There were many people climbing in there. 
>> There were many people climbing there. 

Although we didn't prepare shoes for climbing, it was no problem. 
>>  CORRECT! :)

And we dropped by the astronomical observatory in there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul but I felt happy. 
>> We also dropped by the astronomical observatory there, which was not good like a museum in Seoul, but I felt happy. 

It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and story for the universe in there.
>> It was not sunny today so we couldn't observe the sun using the telescope and we watched images and stories about the universe there.

After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. 
>> After that, we ate Korean traditional food which is famous in there. 

It was very delicious and good price. 
>> It was very delicious and had a good price. 

We talked about what we visit in there again next weekend too.
>> (Do you mean...?) We thought about visiting there again next weekend too.
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