¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-02-19 338

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think is the best invention ever and why?

I think smartphone is the best invention until now. Because we can use the function of map, telephone, computer, mp3 and camera etc.
Before the smartphone was invented, we had to use these functions by each devices. But as soon as the smartphone was launched, we
didn't have to carry a lot of devices. We just need to carry a small device that we can hold by a hand.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won :)

Smartphones really are the best inventions. They are very useful for our society nowadays. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think smartphone is the best invention until now. Because we can use the function of map, telephone, computer, mp3 and camera etc.
>> I think smartphones are the best inventions until now because we can use the functions such as maps, dial pad, computer, mp3, camera etc. 

Before the smartphone was invented, we had to use these functions by each devices. 
>> Before smartphones were invented, we had to use these functions by individual devices. 

But as soon as the smartphone was launched, we didn't have to carry a lot of devices. 
>> But as soon as the smartphones were launched, we didn't have to carry a lot of devices. 

We just need to carry a small device that we can hold by a hand.
>>We just need to carry a small device that we can hold by hand.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116165 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 606
116164 Writing Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1290
116163 Why kids should follow the school rules. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 473
116162 If robots really did take over all (or most) jobs, what do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 901
116161 online ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 732
116160 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116159 My first vocal lesson ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 980
116158 expression correct ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116157 2022.2.7 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 399
116156 2022.2.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 407
116155 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 577
116154 What will you buy for your family once you started earning your... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 786
116153 Writing Task (Feb 7th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 399
116152 Why are exams important? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116151 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 638
116150 2/7 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 384
116149 Why do we need to exercise? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 996
116148 Are men better drivers than women? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 798
116147 Do you think our lives have been improved by the Internet? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 600
116146 Seoul is nice but! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 668

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04