¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Feb 14th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-02-19 438

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1) What was the most memorable thing you did during your university days?
>> When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know. And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this. Let's talk more about it later :)

~T. Roanne ^_^
=====================
When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
>> Correct! 
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
>> I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Volleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated.
>>When I first saw him stepping down the stairs on the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. 
And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
>> And so were most of the athletes joining the Volleyball Paralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. 
>> Correct! 
And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! 
>>And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Volleyball Athletes! 
The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know.
>> Correct! 
And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. 
>> Correct! 
I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.
>> Correct! 

NOTE: THE CORRECTIONS ARE MOSTLY ON YOUR SPELLING. PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THAT! THE SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION WERE GOOD. ^_^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116013 What do you think is interesting about your culture? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 0
116012 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 568
116011 Essay (Jan 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 490
116010 ielts task 1 ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 485
116009 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 113
116008 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 274
116007 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 375
116006 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 316
116005 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 195
116004 What motivates you to keep working? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 510
116003 Is it important to have a goal? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 311
116002 Food chain boosts profile on back of BTS member\'s... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
116001 More people turn to lady luck amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
116000 Number of discouraged workers in Korea hits new high in 2021 À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 1
115999 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 687
115998 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
115997 Attitude before Argument ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 722
115996 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 1
115995 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 532
115994 What makes studying exciting or interesting? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04