¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Feb 14th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-02-19 375

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1) What was the most memorable thing you did during your university days?
>> When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know. And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this. Let's talk more about it later :)

~T. Roanne ^_^
=====================
When I volunteered to assist to run the National Paralympic for a few days.
>> Correct! 
I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period ; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Valleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
>> I was in charge of helping a Sitting Valleyball athlete, a man, during the Paralympic period; in his life at the accommodation; while going to the Volleyball Staium and in the Stadium. 
When I first saw him stepping down the stairs in the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated.
>>When I first saw him stepping down the stairs on the bus, I felt a deep compassion because his lower body below the waist was amputated. 
And so were most of the athletes joining the Valleyball Pralympic.
>> And so were most of the athletes joining the Volleyball Paralympic.
However, to my surprise, they walked using their hands carrying heavy bags and even went up the stairs in the accommodation faster than me. 
>> Correct! 
And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Valleyball Athletes! 
>>And in the Stadium? They were real Pro Volleyball Athletes! 
The players I met were muscular and managed themselves well than anyone I know.
>> Correct! 
And most of all, they cherished themselves and have a strong mental power. 
>> Correct! 
I was shocked and speechless. I was ashamed of myself having the prejudice for the disables.
>> Correct! 

NOTE: THE CORRECTIONS ARE MOSTLY ON YOUR SPELLING. PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THAT! THE SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION WERE GOOD. ^_^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116275 What do you do to stay healthy? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 5
116274 Describe your favorite food. What ingredients are in it? Why is... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 277
116273 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116272 If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be and... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 631
116271 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116270 Do you think there will be a lot of unemployed people when we... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116269 Terrible olympic:( ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 327
116268 What is a bus station? / Where¡¯s the nearest bus station in... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 149
116267 Definitely Philippines :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 495
116266 How do different types of weather affect you emotions? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116265 My best day. Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 162
116264 How does free time activities differ now compared with the past? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 230
116263 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 283
116262 pick pick ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116261 hw ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 985
116260 What would you do if you woke up one morning and all of the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 684
116259 homework.2 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 313
116258 homework.1 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 581
116257 Why I don\'t want to live in another country. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 223
116256 Wht I like my city ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1060

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04