¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*¿ì
2022-02-18 1169

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kane:)

Wow! I didn't know that! Thanks for sharing that knowledge. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." 
>> I think the greatest invention is dynamite because the inventor regretted making it and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but to dig grounds." 

Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.
>>Contrary to his words, many people died because of it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115643 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 142
115642 Do you think that there is truth behind superstitions? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 894
115641 What special features do you think should be added to computers? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0
115640 Do you like dining at famous restaurants with long queues? Why... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 140
115639 Homework(1/14) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115638 Homework (1/13) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115637 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 728
115636 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 359
115635 > What was the latest movie you\'ve seen? What do you think of... ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 143
115634 What is one of the most exciting jobs you can think of? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 137
115633 good morning! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 628
115632 Homework ±è*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 385
115631 Do you usually eat healthy food? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115630 A letter (Jan 16th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 124
115629 How is our accent affected by our birthplace? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 304
115628 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 489
115627 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 268
115626 Why I like watching more than reading. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 544
115625 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 666
115624 Are simple joys as valuable as complex experiences? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 169

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04