¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*¿ì
2022-02-18 1083

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kane:)

Wow! I didn't know that! Thanks for sharing that knowledge. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." 
>> I think the greatest invention is dynamite because the inventor regretted making it and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but to dig grounds." 

Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.
>>Contrary to his words, many people died because of it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116045 Can you describe your current job? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 0
116044 why did you choose your major Graphic design? Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2
116043 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 251
116042 Why do you want to have a busy life? ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 537
116041 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 558
116040 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 377
116039 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 1426
116038 class ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 795
116037 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 723
116036 If you can make a new policy in your school or in a company,... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 425
116035 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 473
116034 Bakery! ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 4
116033 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 364
116032 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 0
116031 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 0
116030 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 0
116029 The Lunar New Year\'s Day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 1
116028 Worst and best president ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 908
116027 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 1
116026 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04