¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*¿ì
2022-02-18 975

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kane:)

Wow! I didn't know that! Thanks for sharing that knowledge. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." 
>> I think the greatest invention is dynamite because the inventor regretted making it and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but to dig grounds." 

Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.
>>Contrary to his words, many people died because of it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116628 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 2
116627 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 565
116626 BTS to hit the stage in South Korea for first time since COVID... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 1
116625 plant-based meat ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 400
116624 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 458
116623 If ever you will have a super power, what would it be? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 700
116622 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 373
116621 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 306
116620 What are some jobs that you think would be fun? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 519
116619 Name three English movies that you would like to recommend to a... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 499
116618 homework for Feb. 11 Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 428
116617 What do you still need to buy that could help you improve your... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 454
116616 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 0
116615 Make a sentence using the common adjectives that start with J. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 1021
116614 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 521
116613 Why I think learning English is important. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 507
116612 What I feel when I lose at sport game. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 351
116611 Why I like salty foods more. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 622
116610 Why I like color of my skin ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 543
116609 Regarding the management of English proficiency scores for... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04